Life stuff

Here's some stuff.
I should be working on homework, as I basically have a week to get my remaining assignments completed. However, since I feel as though homework is all I ever do, I'll take a small break from writing papers in order to write here.
School has been...school. Honestly,  I'm not learning the kind of practical information I hoped I would. My first semester is about over, and I don't feel any better prepared to teach elementary school than I did three months ago. I do feel poorer. Most of the classes I have to take are teaching methods class, which are basically a bunch of theories. For example, in my reading methods class we spent two hours one night talking about language cueing systems.

It was interestingish to learn, but again, not the most practical information for helping new teachers survive their first year or two in the classroom.
My final project in both classes is a big unit plan. It's very frustrating because both profs have said "You will never actually do this in your own classroom." Perfect. I love nothing more than spending huge amounts of time doing something that I will never actually use in real life. "For the final project, you will need to come up with a menu for a Bulgarian themed dinner party, watch three Lorenzo Lamas movies, and shovel your neighbor's sidewalk the next time it snows. Then write a reflection." 

Otherwise Chicago is good. It's also cold. This morning my car said 15 degrees. Weak.

I've quickly learned to parallel park again. A month or two ago I backed into a pile of rust sitting atop 4 poorly inflated tires. The owner of this once van was inside a shop but her friend was sitting outside, guarding the car, no doubt. She was not okay with it. "DAMN GIRL! YOU GOTTA SLOW DOWN! THIS AIN'T EVEN MY VAN! IT'S MY GIRLFRIEND'S! SHE'S INSIDE BUYING TWO CHICKENS! YOU GOTTA SLOW DOWN! YOU'RE GONNA GET YOURSELF KILLED! I USED TO BE LIKE THAT BUT I LEARNED I HAD TO SLOW DOWN!"

My neighborhood has delicious ethnic food, but sadly I haven't found any Indian restaurants close by.

I live directly east of O'Hare and I love it. The planes are so low going over my apartment that if I'm outside I can see what airline they are. A few months ago I saw one from Qatar Airways.

Let's get mushy
Over the summer, after things fell apart with the bigoted and arrogant Turkish guy I dated, my cousin Jamie issued me a challenge- try dating an American, someone born and bred here. Jamie has spent considerable amounts of time abroad and understood the appeal of dating a non American. However, she told me it would be so wonderfully easy that I'd soon forget about the desire to date someone foreign and exotic. I've never received better advice. A few days after things ended with the Turkish guy, I was in Chicago. I'd rejoined OkCupid and Eliza was playing on my account, like she often did. She messaged several people on my behalf, including a guy named Chad. He and I messaged daily for a few weeks via OkCupid, before switching to texting, and we met in person a few weeks after that.  Holy cats, dating without a language barrier is the best thing ever. Finally, a guy who understands how hilarious/awesome I am. With other guys I've dated, I always felt like there was part of the connection that wasn't there, even with the ones who spoke English fluently. They'd understand the literal meaning of the words I would say, but they'd be missing the connotation, which is a huge part of conversation. He'd be wonderful even if there was a language barrier, but not having one just makes this relationship that much better. 

Back to homework. Lame.

Let's do the time warp again

I'll write a real update sometime, probably after Thanksgiving. Because from now until Thanksgiving, my life will be homework.
In the meantime, I'm going to love on Chicago a little bit.
You all know I'm a sucker for time lapse. And I also love Chicago and never want to leave except that Illinois is a horrible place to be a state employee (teacher) so I probably will end up leaving.

I'm almost positive I've posted a Chicago time lapse before. Maybe I've posted this exact video already. But either way, I'm going to post it. (Thanks to Jaime for bringing this into my life)

Cityscape Chicago II from Eric Hines on Vimeo.

Chicago is awesome.
Now back to homework. 

money

Whoa probably no one still reads this because I haven't updated in forever. That's because...school.

And while I actually have so much homework I could be working on now. I thought I'd take a break from it and as per my lovely cousin Jamie's request, give y'all an update.

I can't believe it's nearly November already. Yikes.

So, life in Chicago. First the bad-work.

I thought I was being responsible when I moved to Chicago. Because I only have class on Monday and Tuesday, I kept working at PQ on the weekends, until I had a job here. Around the end of August, I got a job at a Julius Meinl. Julius Meinl is a coffee shop/cafe, based out of Austria but with three locations in the US, all in Chicago. I was really excited for this job. The one I was hired at was pretty close to my apartment, and closed at 3 pm, so there would be no late nights. On my first day, I found out they changed their hours and were now staying open until 8. It seemed a little strange, since their menu is very much breakfast and lunch food. But I thought "Okay, no big deal. 8 o'clock still isn't that late." They told me in my training that on an average weekday shift they usually leave with around $100. So, less money than PQ, but still enough to get by on. So I put my notice in at PQ. What they didn't tell me at JM was that the "$100 per shift" was for breakfast/lunch shifts, and since I was the new person, I would not be getting those shifts. Instead, they scheduled me for all closing shifts. So I'd arrive to work at 2 pm and stay until 9. As I said before, their menu is all soup, salad, sandwiches, and some breakfasty things. It's very good food, but not most people's idea of dinner. So I'd get a few customers in my 7 hour shifts there, but for the most part it was just people stopping in for an evening tea and sometimes dessert. I was lucky if I got $3 per table. So at the end of my 7 hour shift, I'd leave with around $30, and the hugest list of closing sidework I've ever seen, including scrubbing out the toilets. So I ended up quitting there. I actually liked the place itself. It was super laid back. The managers were nice enough and pretty much left the employees alone to do our thing. But, $30 a shift and scrubbing out toilets wasn't going to cut it. So after I left JM, I interviewed at a temp agency. She could have gotten me some work, but because my class starts at 5:30 in River  Forest, and most temp jobs were downtown and lasted until 5:00, it wouldn't work out schedulewise. I interviewed with a family in River Forest for a nanny position. I got along well with them. They were super nice, but they emailed me a few days after I interviewed and said they wanted someone who could commit to longer than a year. I started waitressing when I was 16. I am now 32. Of course I took a few years off from it when I was living abroad, but for the most part, waitressing has been how I've paid my bills for the last 16 years. I have been a waitress for half of my life...(Pause while I go cry and reassess some things)...I don't want to do it anymore. I am so burned out on it. I could start listing the reasons why, but then this would just turn into an angry waitress rant. And it's not all bad. The money is decent. The hours are flexible. There's no way I could have up and left for 5 weeks to hang out in Thailand and India if I'd been working a 9-5. But I just am tired of it. I want a change. But, I needed a job. So when my sister offered to get me a job the restaurant she works at, I knew I should take it. At least I knew the money would be better than JM and it'd get me by until I found something that wasn't serving.
Being the new person at any job is not fun. I've worked in a lot of restaurants, and in every place it takes the managers a few months to realize I'm a great employee. At every place I've worked, my bosses love me. But for the first month or two, I have to prepare myself for being told to "be more outgoing" "don't be so shy" "you have to talk more" and so on. I resent being called shy. I'm quiet (though I prefer to think of it as selective about what I say) and often keep to myself, especially around people I don't know very well. But I'm not shy. But at every place I've worked, my bosses see me not talking much around my coworkers and assume I do the same with my tables. Not true, though I suppose I understand why they make that assumption.  This new restaurant I worked at is more of a foodie place than the last couple restaurants I've worked at. They also have a large wine menu. Here's a secret-I think knowing about wine is boring. I like wine. I like to drink it. But as far as perfectly pairing wine with food, or being able to talk about its tannin or knowing what a bouquet, not really my thing. So part of my training included wine training. I've never actually been to a real wine tasting, so maybe this is how they all are.(?) But my training here wasn't training so much as being given small glasses of wine followed by this conversation:
Trainer: What do you smell?
(Smells wine)
Me: Wine.
She would then list some random things like stone fruits or earth. I would pretend to agree.
Trainer: Now taste it. What do you taste?
(tastes wine)
Me: Wine.
She would then list some random things like peaches or forest floor. I would pretend to agree. But in reality, my answer of wine for both questions was about all I could do. The only thing I could sometimes taste/smell was some wood for one of the wines that was aged in oak.
The food at this place is good, but more foodie food than other places I've worked. It wasn't enough to know that a food had onions or tomatoes. We had to know it was cipollini onions or campari tomatoes. And a whole bunch of Italian stuff I'd never heard of that all sounded the same to me, sopressata, capicola, salametto, and so on. So between the wine and the menu, there was a lot to learn. I studied the menu, but I had to make school my number one priority. So I couldn't spend all my free time learning the difference between Ca'Donini pinot grigio and and Colterenzio pinot grigio.
I was the student in high school and college that got horrible anxiety if I felt less than prepared for a test. Going to work feeling like I didn't 100% know the menu caused me the same feeling of anxiety. Plus, the managers were way more on us there, which added to my feeling of ill-preparedness. My stomach hurt before going there, and several times during shifts I'd go stand in the bathroom take some deep breaths, count backwards from ten, and remind myself I could do this. Shortly after I started at this place, I got a job as a nanny, but it unfortunately didn't start until the end of October. So I thought "ok, I can stick it out waitressing until the nanny job starts." A few weeks later, the family emailed me and said there was a problem with the closing on their house, and they had to push back the move in date until the middle of November. Shoot, but I reminded myself I had a job. It was a job that would sometimes cause me to wake up in the middle of the night and feel like I should go study the menu, but still, it was a job. Unfortunately, it was a job I got hired at right before the patio closed, cutting down the number of servers that needed to work each night. Soon I found my hours cut down to 2 days a week, and not just any days, I had 2 brunch shifts, which were the lowest money making shifts there. While part of me was relieved because this job stressed me out so much, the logical part of me was upset because I wouldn't be making enough to get by. But, I knew my nanny job started in the middle of November.
So this past Sunday night my boss emailed out the new schedule, like she does. My name wasn't on it. Huh. My name was deleted. Ok. A short while later she emailed again, saying she was sorry, she had to make more cuts to people's hours. I guess that meant my hours were cut completely. Thanks for the heads up, boss! Ok, my nanny job was starting in a few weeks. I'd be fine. So the next morning I contacted the family, and was informed that the house they were planning on buying completely fell through, and they're back at square one. The earliest they'd be needing a nanny would be the end of November. Shooooot. Cue tears. Eat ice cream. Calm. So I emailed my boss. I said I understood that it was a slow time, and since I was the last person hired, it made sense that my hours would be cut. But I asked if she could give me an estimation of how long it would be before I'd be back on the schedule. She didn't respond. At this point it was hard to feel like she wanted me to work there. I thought about going in to the restaurant to talk to her, but I had two big assignments due this week and I was annoyed she wouldn't even take the time to respond to me, if to say nothing other than "I'm sorry, I really don't know." Plus, I was AT work when she was making this schedule. It would have been nice if she would have told me in person that I'd be losing all my hours. Given the massive amounts of homework I had to do, and the fact my boss didn't say anything to me in person about my hours, nor would she respond to my email, I decided to not take the time to drive over and meet with her in person. She isn't the warmest, friendliest person I've ever met, so I wasn't super jazzed about talking to her in person. So I went to my old standby. I called PQ, and I'm now back on the schedule for the next couple of weekends. Ideal? No. But it's money. So I emailed my boss again, and said I was sorry, but I got a full time job (hopefully, but at this point who knows) starting soon, and I needed guaranteed and consistent income, so I'd no longer be able to work at their restaurant, but I would give 2 weeks notice if she wanted. 24 hours later she responded to my second email. My initial thought was to respond "Whoa, so your email DOES work!" But I didn't. She said she was sorry and she understood that I had to do what was best for me, and since I wasn't even on the schedule, she wouldn't require me to do two weeks notice. She then asked me if I would be available to work this coming weekend, since it's supposed to be nice and they are opening the patio. Huh. I emailed on Monday asking about hours. Had she responded to me then, I would have been available. But, she waited until Thursday afternoon to see if I was available on Friday. By Thursday, I'd already committed to PQ. I'm happy to be able to spend some time at home though. Fall in Chicago just isn't quite the same as fall in Princeton. I'm keeping my fingers triple crossed that there are no more hold ups with the nanny job, and thankful PQ is always willing to let me work.

The good-everything else! I love Chicago.

Now I really have to do homework. So I'm not going to proofread this.

ISU GO!

14 years ago this summer, my best friend Joni and I headed down to "Preview" at ISU. We stayed overnight in the dorms, registered for classes, ate cafeteria food, got student ID cards, etc. I had no clue what I wanted to major in, so paying private school tuition seemed foolish. Plus, the majority of my aunts and uncles are are ISU alum. I knew it was the right place for me. It was the only place I applied.
I enjoyed my time at ISU. Bloomington-Normal is a great area, and one I can see myself happily living in someday. But, sometimes I felt like I was just another nameless face in a student body nearly triple of size of my lovely hometown. My advisor never knew my name, and each time I met with him I had to introduce myself. Each semester I had at least once class of 100+ people. Registration was cutthroat. At the time, I thought I wouldn't be having these problems if I were at a smaller private school.
Enter Dominican. To be fair, everything regarding this school has seemed a bit rushed, because as late as April, I thought I was going to be at Olivet. When that fell through, I got a list of approved teacher certification programs from the ROE. I contacted all of the ones in the Chicago area. Dominican was the first to respond to me, so I went with it. I gathered my necessary documents. I wrote an application essay. I don't remember what it was about. I got three letters of recommendation. By June, I was ready to go...so I thought. The guy I'd been working with in admissions sent me an email, saying all systems go, I'd be getting my official acceptance letter in the mail and I could register. Great! I wasted no time in responding to him. He didn't reply. I never got my acceptance letter. A week or so later, I emailed him again. He didn't reply. Another woman in the department had emailed a time or two about some things. So I contacted her. I said I'd contacted the admissions coordinator twice and I hadn't heard from him. Since it was now already the middle of June, I really wanted to get registered. She wrote back and told me that he was on vacation. Huh. Isn't it pretty easy to set up an automatic email response when one goes on vacation? Maybe if he'd done that I wouldn't have been left waiting for two weeks for him to respond to me. No worries, because the other woman gave me the contact information for the person who'd be my advisor and assured me the advisor could help me out. She also sent me out another copy of my acceptance letter. I contacted my advisor, explaining the situation. She wrote back and said that she actually couldn't do anything to help me until I was officially on her roster. ANNNNND the person who would be putting me on her roster was the vacationing admissions coordinator. Really? Really?! I thought, well it's been over two weeks. Surely he'll get back from vacation soon. Unfortunately I was wrong. Magellan's trip around the world took less time than this guy's trip to wherever he went. Another two weeks passed and finally I got an email from the admissions coordinator. He gave me a number to call him. I called him. I got his voicemail. I left a message, saying I would be home all day until 4:30, when I went to work. He called at 4:45. Of course I wasn't there and the next day was Saturday. Monday morning I called him. Voicemail again. Finally finally finally that afternoon, he called me. Finally finally finally I registered. Now, as you all know, college classes ain't cheap. Next step-financial aid. The admissions coordinator gave me the contact information for the financial aid office and told me they could help me with whatever I needed. The FAFSA website told me the deadline to apply had passed. I decided to contact the financial aid office to ask about the deadline. Someone responded and told me the first thing I needed to do was fill out the FAFSA. Ok, didn't answer my question, but I filled it out anyway. At the end of the application, there was nothing to indicate it was too late, and it said the information would be sent on to Dominican. I emailed the financial aid office back, said I'd completed my fafsa, and to please send me the next step. No response. Meanwhile, I got my tuition bill. Y'OUCH private school! Why why why would anyone do that willingly? As I was learning was the Domincan way, I ignored the tuition bill. I emailed the financial aid office again. No response. I got another tuition bill. I emailed the student accounts office, and asked when tuition was due. The first day of class. Shoot. So I contacted them back, and said I hadn't heard anything about my financial aid yet, and asked about paying the tuition in installments. They said sure, no problem, but the first payment of close to $800 was actually due that day. I died a little on the inside, then made my first payment. I emailed the financial aid department again. I said I knew they were supposed to be sending me the application, so they could email it to me, or I'd stop by the office and pick it up. Finally she responded and said "here is the form you need to fill out"...except she didn't send the attachment. I wrote back and asked her to send the attachment. She responded the next day with just the form, no "sorry I'm incompetent and couldn't send  you this two weeks ago when you first asked for it" or anything of the sort. So I did my online loan "counseling" then filled out and faxed my form back. Now, I just have to wait. I have no idea how long it will take. I'm hoping it's sooner, rather than later because I have another $780 payment to make in a few short weeks.

I may have felt like a nameless face at ISU but I never went through anything close to this there...and the tuition was half as much.  ILU ISU



Also, my mom is a saint and spent two days cleaning my apartment with me. Seriously, the best. 

EVCO

My mom is awesome for many reasons. One of those reasons is that she taught my siblings and me how to eat healthy. Growing up, we never had white bread or store bought treats, we rarely ate pasta, the only time we ever got sweet cereal was once a year for our birthdays, we ate garden vegetables all summer long, and the soda that was in the house was only for company. As a result of that, Aaron, Eliza and I are all pretty health conscious. However, as long as I can remember I've had a huge sweet tooth. I love sugar. Some days the cravings are worse than others, and it's definitely gotten better in the past few years, but even so, rarely can I ever pass up a cookie. So whenever I see any articles about beating sugar cravings, I have to read them. Mostly they all say the same thing "Give into the craving, have just a small bit of chocolate." I've tried that approach, all that does is make me think about how good a small bit of chocolate is, and how much I'd like to eat some more. A few months ago, I came across an article saying that a spoonful of coconut oil helps to cut sugar cravings. It gave an explanation why, but I don't remember it. My mom has kept coconut oil in the house for a very long time, way before it became trendy. I thought about trying that but I could never get on board with the idea of eating a spoonful of plain oil. Every morning for a breakfast, I make a kale/spinach smoothie. I like going into lunch knowing I've already had a big serving of vegetables. A few weeks ago, I decided to try putting a small spoonful of coconut oil into my smoothie. It blended right up and didn't change the taste at all. So I'll admit, the smoothie isn't as satisfying as a stack of pancakes and a side of sausage, but it's a great start to the day and I'm addicted to it. The only problem is that sometimes I'm hungry before lunch. So the first morning I tried the coconut oil, I realized noon had come and gone and I'd not thought about food or snacking. I've continued putting a little coconut oil into my smoothie each morning and it's really helped the sugar cravings. It's got a lot of other interesting uses (I love the internet). I've started putting it in my hair once a week, but it takes a few months before that's supposed to make a difference, so we'll see. I've been putting a little under my eyes as well, and I swear the dark circles have gotten better. So far, I'm a fan. 

I have a place to live! It's scary cheap, so hopefully I'll figure out sooner rather than later why this apartment has such a low price tag. But, I get the key August 1st. I'm also registered for my fall classes, which start at the end of August. I have a lot to do in the meantime for school, but at least I'm registered. Now, I need a job. 

It's been over a week since my sort of falling out with the Turk. I've reached out to him 3 times, asking if we can talk to clear the air. I hate leaving things unresolved. And I've been ignored 3 times. Ouch. I've mentioned a few times on here about the "friends" I made in Korea. Up until then, I always thought most adults preferred to hash things out. I thought most adults would be willing to have a slightly awkward conversation, if it meant resolving an issue, getting rid of hard feelings, etc. After I had a falling out with those friends in Korea, I tried to talk things over with two of them. It never happened. So instead we spent our last months in Korea as coworkers, rather than friends. It made the atmosphere at work unbearable and horribly awkward. I realized in the years since then, that for many people that is the norm. Unfortunately, technology doesn't help that any. It's easy to ignore an email or text. It's easy to ignore a phone call from someone when you always know who is calling. It's extremely frustrating how many people are so unwilling to have a slightly tough conversation, and would prefer to just say "well, I guess I'm done with them." Cowardly. 

I have to go to work now. I'm not going to spell check or proofread this. 

Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear...Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

Once again, that subject is a lie. But since I have that song in my head at least once a week, I went with it again.

One month ago, I titled my last post "edited" because obviously, I edited it. In the pre-edited version, I talked about the Turkish guy I'd started dating. Shortly after I wrote that, he friended me on Facebook. While I'm pretty careful about who can see the link to here on my Facebook, I thought, "I'dddddddd best get rid of what I wrote..." just in case I missed something somewhere. My cyberstalking skillz are top notch, therefore I'm fairly confident in my ability to cover my own tracks, to make my social networking as ungoogeable and private as possible. But, especially in the earlier days of this blog, I did post it on Facebook a time or two. I thought just to avoid awkwardness, I'd delete it. I wish I would have saved it somewhere, but I didn't. So here's the rundown.
A month and a half ago, I met the Turkish guy for lunch in Peoria. When I first saw him, my thought was "aww hell no!" But, we'd been talking for a few weeks before meeting and he seemed nice, so I decided to not get back in my car and drive away. During our afternoon together, I realized he was a mega dork. When I made a comment about how clean he kept his car, his response was some physics equation that I don't remember. I left the date, still not sure if I wanted to see him again. After our first date, he was relentless, messaging every day, asking if I'd go to St. Louis, Nashville, Milwaukee, etc with him, talking about visiting me in Chicago after I move, saying once I finished school I could start paying for things but until then I had to let him pay, saying he deleted his OkCupid profile after meeting me, saying he didn't want to go out "without his Laura", calling me beautiful, and so on. At first, I was mildly annoyed by how persistent he was. But, it's hard to not be flattered by that kind of attention and I started having more feelings for him.

A few weeks ago he asked if I'd go to St. Louis with him the weekend of July 11th. He had a huge presentation at work on July 8th, something he'd been working on for two years, and he wanted to celebrate that weekend. I hate taking work off on the weekends, but I haven't much recently and since I was really starting to like him, I agreed. Shortly after that, I started to notice a change. He didn't text me as much, and when he did they were shorter. We didn't go back and forth all afternoon and evening like we had at first. But, when I'd see him in person, things seemed fine. I tried to silence the voices in my head, telling myself that I probably wasn't hearing as much from him because he was really busy preparing for this presentation. The last time I went out with him was around the third week in June, and soon after I started a two week house/dog sitting job, and didn't have time to drive to Peoria. Because he was so busy with work, he didn't have time to drive up here. On that date, things seemed fine, but then immediately after I got home, he stopped initiating conversation. He'd respond when I would, though his responses were shorter and the flattery stopped. So last weekend, after a few days of silence, I sent him a message and asked the reason for the silence, if there was a problem, etc. He assured me there was no problem. I suggested maybe we just take a step back from things to give him a chance to focus on work. He said no, he didn't want to, I was not a bother, he wanted to see me, etc. However, after that conversation, the silence continued. He left a day or two later for a road trip with his boss (weird). More silence. Finally, I messaged him on the last day of his road trip last week. He seemed fine and told me how excited he was for our trip to St. Louis this weekend. More silence. Our plan for the weekend was for me to go to Peoria Thursday (today) night, and we'd leave early on Friday. He hadn't mentioned our trip since last week, when he told me he was excited for it. So yesterday I cracked and sent him a message, asking if he still wanted to go.

Here's our exchange:

Huh...okay then. Obviously there are some unanswered questions and any of you who read my other blog know how I feel about unanswered questions. Why didn't he tell me this the weekend before, when I suggested taking step back from things? Was he trying to make it so I couldn't work this weekend? FYI-To miss a weekend of work costs me around $350. That's a big big deal. He was SO into this the first few weeks, I don't buy his response of  "I'm only looking for something casual." We weren't a couple. We weren't serious. This wasn't a relationship. However, I feel because he cost me a weekend of work, that I am owed a conversation, if nothing else. I am owed my answers, or at least the chance for me to order the spiciest Bloody Mary I can find, dump loads of Tabasco in it, and throw it in his face. I'm a classy lady who always takes the high road. 

Speaking of high road, what better way to make oneself feel okay after being rejected than making a list of the rejecter's flaws? I shall do that now. I knew all along that this wouldn't amount to a whole lot. 

The reasons why this wasn't going anywhere, aka his flaws list

1. The biggest issue, which he alluded to in our text exchange, was his view on homosexuality. Kingsley's opinion was "That's a big big sin. We must pray to change the gays. If we pray hard enough, they will become straight" (Actual words, I can't make this stuff up). My views of homosexuality are kind of nonexistent because it's not my concern. I like boys, but if one morning and wake up with the urge to start dating a female, I'll do just that and no one else really needs to have an opinion because it's no one else's business. A person's sexual orientation has less than zero effect (affect? WHY AM I SO CONFUSED BY THOSE TWO STUPID WORDS?) on me, aside from sexuality of the hot guys I see, and they're usually gay anyway. The Turk's view on homosexuality is only slightly less offensive than Kingsley's. He and I started in on this topic after I went to the wedding of a gay friend. He asked to see pictures. When he saw it was two men, his reaction was a mix of shock, horror, and a twinge of doing his best to hide disgust. Then we started talking about it, and he said he thinks gays only want to be married to get money from the government, gay marriages are shams with no real feeling between the two people, gays shouldn't be allowed to be married, etc. I bite my tongue pretty hard when it comes to talking with people from other countries about things like sexuality. And I'm not talking about countries like the UK or Canada. Turkey is modern, but still has some super old school values. So I politely listened to what he had to say, then stated my own opinion that it makes no difference to me if two (or more, whatever) consenting adults want to get married. He of course disagreed and this discussion went on for probably longer than it should have. We agreed to disagree, and went on about our day. I didn't realize it was that much of an issue for him until I got yesterday's text. Connard. 

2. He's not an animal person. 

3. Istanbul is in both Europe and Asia. He must have taken driving lessons on the Asian side of the city. 

4. He loves renaissance fairs.

5. He is hairy

6. He talks too much about money, specifically how much he earned. Seriously, I shouldn't know after two months how much a person is making. 

7. He wears Axe Body Spray.

8. He doesn't have a trash can in his kitchen, but rather keeps a trash bag in the left side of the sink. When it filled up there, he'd take it out. Freak. 

9. He is obsessed with tinted car windows, and kept telling me he knew a Turk in Chicago that could do my car. Ummm...no.

10. He didn't get me a birthday present.

11. He wears jeans that are way too tight.

12. He has a rug in his bathroom. Normal enough, lots of people do. However, his rug is adoring the back of his toilet. Doesn't go there, buddy. 

13. He told me that I should be looking at apartments in Naperville, rather than the city of Chicago. 

14. He had two Facebook accounts. One, I know was his real one, where he was friends with his mom, sister, and other Turkish people. On the other account, he went by the name "Eugene Erg" and he deleted that account shortly after he friended me with it. I pretended to not know anything about the real account, and he lied to me, saying he was no longer on Facebook, when I questioned him about deleting the one he friended me with. 

15. His favorite restaurant is a local Peoria version of Benihana. 

16. He liked some dumb car show on basic cable. I can't remember the name of it, but it's just three guys messing around doing dumb car things. And I hated watching it. 

17. He left me alone for 3 hours the night when we were supposed to be celebrating my birthday, because he had to go meet with his boss. 

18. He said inappropriate things to servers, such as when she says "Careful, that plate is hot" his response would be "So are you!" 

That's all I can think of now. I'm sure I can come up with plenty more, but it's perfect outside and I want to go run. 

edited

I finally faxed off my last paper for school this morning. Now, I just wait to hear what to do next while thinking "Hmm...how am I going to pay for this?" I am so super stoked for Chicago though.

Here's a photo from the race last month. My mile pace was 9:50, or something like that. It was definitely not my fastest race, but I was still happy enough with it. I know I'll never be the girl running the 7:30 mile, and I'm perfectly okay with that because my hair is no doubt better than theirs. 

4 years

4 years ago today I arrived in Korea. It's amazing how a place I only lived for a year and a half can leave such a lasting impression on me. I lived at ISU for 4 years, and I don't have nearly the same emotional attachment to it. ISU didn't change me the way Seoul did. Korea still holds a huge place in my heart. I often think about the jobs I didn't take there. Twice, I was set to return and didn't. Where would I be had I taken those jobs? Of course I'll never know. But, I still think about Korea every day. I think about my sweet little angels there, and how they're now 9 and 10 years old. Pas possible.

jump in

So Corey Crawford, what's the problem? Now is not the time to forget how to play. Get it together, buddy.

I've decided this is the week I'm going to bite the bullet and actually meet someone from Okcupid. I'm going to do it! Aside from the Casanovas I wrote about in my last post, I actually have been messaging with a few seemingly okay guys. There's one in particular that I've been texting for a week or two now. I think he will be my first post break up date. He is from Istanbul but has lived here for several years. He seems okay because in the few weeks we've been messaging, he's not once said anything inappropriate, no innuendos, etc. He likes outside stuff, cooking, biking, and South Park. All pluses. My main concern (aside from the obvious ending up in a Hefty bag in the trunk of his car) is that he seems to be a little too focused on money for my liking. He has his PhD in engineering and works in Peoria. That's legit. I used my stellar online stalking skills to find his Linkedin page and some information about research he did when he was in grad school. But, he brings up money, expensive toys, etc. more than my liking. He hasn't said anything about Turkish food causing a burning in my loins, so if a little too much money talk is the worst thing about it, I can live with that for my first post break up date.


Dating again is scary.

Online exchanges

Yet another post about online dating. I need to change the title of this blog to "I'm not dating"

It's been 10 months since I broke up with Kingsley. I've written before about the sense of relief I felt when it was finally over. I say finally because it had been a long time coming. I was excited to not feel obligated to talk to him every morning. I was excited to feel like I could finally make some plans in my life without wondering and worrying if/how he'd fit into those plans. I was excited to date.
Well, in those 10+ months, it's been great to not start each day with a mundane conversation about what each of us had done in the 24 hours since we talked the day before "And then what did you eat for lunch? Are you going to watch a movie tonight?" I've been making plans. These plans are not happening as quickly as I hoped they would, and they've been more of a struggle than I thought possible. BUT, they are happening, and that's the important thing.

And dating...well...yeah, no. The closest thing to a date I've been on in the past 10 months was March's trip out west, aka "The Cold War" that most of you have read about in my other blog. And that doesn't really count, because it just doesn't. So I haven't dated at all since Kingsley and I broke up. I'm determined to change that. I've written frequently about online dating. I know so many people who have had great success with it. It works! I know it can! BUUUUUT, so far it's not working for me. Here are a few exchanges I've had on various online dating websites. Currently I'm using OkCupid, so most of these are from there.
In the interest of keeping things family friendly, I am not including the more vulgar messages I have received.

Guy: Let me know sometime when you're free, we should meet up.
Me: Ok, what did you have in mind?
Guy: How about a massage, sex, then a beer run?
And he was being serious. At least he was honest, I guess.

For a while I had a picture of me at the Taj Mahal on my profile. That led to this exchange.
Indian Guy: Do you have some kind of Indian fetish?
Me, knowing I probably shouldn't respond to that message, but I thought I'd give him a chance to redeem himself after his awful opening line: I like to cook Indian food.
Guy: I knew it. It probably causes a burning in your loins.
And delete.

This exchange was with a guy whose username is "iluvbigtits67" who had no pictures, and a completely blank profile.
Guy: how r u
Me: Wow, that's a really charming handle. Between that and your informative and complete profile, I'm guessing the ladies are lining up for you.
Guy: either u like it or ya don't.
I didn't respond. Both because he was clearly a dirtball and his use of "u" and "ya" instead of you. But iluvbigtits67 wasn't done. A few days later he messaged again.
Guy: hi
Me: Hi
Guy: what ya doing
a few minutes later, guy: what ya looking for
a few minutes later, guy: U there
a few minutes later, guy: do u have kik
a few minutes later, guy: hmmmm
Me: No, I don't have kik.
Guy: are you a good hirl?
Guy: girl
Me: I was willing to overlook your username and completely empty profile to see if you were worth getting to know. But, I'm not interested in taking this conversation in the direction you seem to want it to go. Strike 3. A bit of advice for you-try a little harder next time. Add a photo or two, act a little interested in getting to know a girl. If I was looking for someone to have casual sex with, it sure as shit wouldn't be with someone who is too lazy to fill out a profile or upload any pictures, and asks if I'm a "good girl" immediately after I say hi.
And still, I'd not heard the last from iluvbigtits67. A few days later, I got this. I don't know why I bother responding. But I do.
Guy: hi how r u
Me: Fine.
Guy: Want to meet
Me: No. You've told me nothing about yourself, nor have you shown me any pictures. You really need to work on your game.
Guy: Ok.
And that was the last I heard from iluvbigtits67. Farewell, my sweet prince.

Then, there are the married guys. Of course they never have any pictures of themselves. But, they are always "sexy, attractive and in great shape" and they are "smart, successful and love their lives" but they're "looking for something more with no drama." At first, I was curious why they'd do this.
Guy: Would you be interested in chatting with a 42 year old married white male?
Me: What are you looking for? Why are you on here if you're married?
Guy: I'm looking for a friend, that may turn into a friend with benefits. You into that?
Me: Why do you want that?
Guy: I'm not getting any at home. Do you like oral?
I didn't continue the conversation, but I've continued getting many messages from "fit, attractive" married men looking for a "drama free" extramarital affair.  I immediately hit block.

Then, there are the guys who are just kind of sad. I always try to respond to everyone at least a time or two, just to be polite. OkCupid has a lot of interesting profile questions. Of course people can always surprise you, but generally these questions are an easy way to tell from the get go if someone is a possible good match. A few weeks ago I received a message from a guy in the Quad Cities. I looked at his profile. I knew almost immediately that he and I would probably not mesh well. To the question "Should evolution and creationism be taught side by side in school?" he answered "Evolution has no place in schools." He lists Chili's and Olive Garden as his favorite restaurants. To the question of whether or not Noah's Ark is a true story, he answered yes, it is. He lists his favorite book as "I don't read much. Does ESPN Magazine count?" He went on to say he had read one "amazing" book, The Narrow Road by Brother Andrew. I had never heard of that book, so I googled it. I assumed by the author's name it was a Christian book. The first thing I learned when I googled was that when you purchase this book, one of the versions comes with a Jars of Clay CD... He also said in his profile that he is offended by dirty jokes.
So, I am not making fun of this guy. We all have our beliefs. But, too many of his answers reminded me of Kingsley. I learned quickly after meeting Kingsley that he's very religious (but still had no problem cheating on me several times...yep).  I'm not an atheist, but I'm not super religious. I don't listen to Christian music. I don't ever say anything is a blessing. I don't read Christian books. I won't go back to church here until St. Louis has a different priest. I rarely talk about religion with other people because I think it's personal and I'm offended by evangelism. But with Kingsley, I thought "that's okay." Over the course of our almost 3 year relationship, I learned that no, it's not okay. I need to date someone whose religious beliefs are closer to my own.
Plus, Chili's and Olive Garden? They are okay. I eat at Olive Garden once a year or so. I eat at Chili's once every couple of years. I don't hate those restaurants. There's something for everyone on the menus, and the food is good enough. BUT, for his favorite restaurant? If he could pick any restaurant in the world to eat at, Olive Garden would be it? And, his answer to the favorite book question is a big problem for me. I love to read. When the library has their used book sale, I purposely take the morning off work. Books are among my favorite gifts to receive. I love talking about books.

So, even though based on his profile, this guy seemed nice enough, I didn't think we'd click very well.
Guy: Hey. How are you? May I have the chance to get to know you better?
Me: Hello! Of course you can, but if I'm being completely honest, I think you're a little too conservative for me, in terms of someone to date.
Guy: Well I'm conservative, but I don't let politics get in the way of a relationship. So what are you wanting in 2-5 years?
Me: I think people need to agree on either religion or politics, in a perfect world both, for a relationship to be successful. In answer to your question, in 2-5 years I'd like to be done with school and living abroad again. What about you?
Guy: I wanna find my best friend. Hopefully settled down n be engaged then married. Then start a family or have one started already. Be a successful as a father/husband and be successful at my job.
Sigh. Why do people write wanna? Is it that much harder to write want to? And "n" instead of and? Sure, I say "wanna" in conversation, but writing? Come on now, just take the two seconds and write those few extra letters. I didn't respond to him. I tried to gently tell him I just didn't think he and I would be a good match. But, he tried again. And a few days later he messaged.
Guy: Good morning.
Me: Hello.
Guy: I thought you'd lost interest.
Me: It's polite to respond when someone messages. As I said before, I just think you're a little too conservative for me. I think evolution should absolutely be taught in school. I don't go to church. And I love dirty jokes. So, I'm sure you're a nice guy, but I don't think we'd be very compatible.
Guy: Well, give me a chance, please.
I was starting to feel like a jerk, because he did seem nice. But...creationism in schools-yes, evolution-no. That alone is almost a deal breaker for me.

I was thinking the other day about my future, and daydreaming about where I'll be 5 years down the road, in a perfect world. In my daydream, I was living abroad again. I was working a more professional job. I was traveling. I was seeing things. I was eating delicious food. And in my perfect world daydreams, I'm always skinnier. It wasn't until I'd been thinking about this for several minutes that I realized not once had I thought about a husband in my daydream. There were also no kids. My "perfect world" 5 year plan was only me. Maybe it's because I'm so very single right now, it's hard to imagine anyone else in the picture. But, there are a few guys I've been messaging on Okcupid. I haven't met any in person yet, but there is maybe possibly some potential.
All this talk of online dating reminds me that I have an episode of Catfish DVRed.

Noncon

For anyone who is interested, I updated my Red story with a nonconclusion conclusion, on the other blog.

Friday night, I got off of work and checked my phone. I had received a message from someone on Okcupid asking me how work was. You see kids, that's why you don't use OkCupid. 

The half marathon is next weekend! I can't believe it's almost here. I'm excited, and more excited to soon be able to mix up my workout routine a little. I've really been wanting to do an Insanity/running/pilates mix. But, I have a schedule I've had to stick to in order to prepare for this race. Starting in one week I'll be able to spend much more time with Shaun T! I'm supposed to run 12 miles today, but it keeps raining with little bits of thunder here and there. I wish it'd stop. I really want to get this run over with before work.

Spring, finally! Spring, more than any other season, makes me think I'll always have to live somewhere with 4 different seasons. Ask me in January and I'll no doubt give you a different answer. But, there is nothing better than those first warm days. I love the grass turning green and the new leaves. Plus, spring flowers are the most beautiful. I know if I lived some place that was warm all the time, I'd miss all of that. 

I live at the drawing board

Today sucked.

I've never been someone who feels the need to do a whole lot with my hair.  My natural color works for me, so I've never gotten it professionally dyed, or highlighted, or anything like that. It's curly, so I've never had a cut that required a lot of upkeep or frequent trips to the salon for a trim. I've tried a few times to get more of a styled cut, and stylists never quite seem to know what to do with curly hair, so I've quit trying. Usually I go in once a year or so to get the dead ends cut off. Sometimes I'll get it a little shorter if the mood hits, or have a few layers put in, and that's about it. It's been looking ratty lately, so I decided it was about time I got my yearly cut. Because I so rarely go to the salon, I don't have a regular hair stylist or salon. I go wherever. I made an appointment for this morning at one of the local salons. I'd never been to this particular place, but I'd heard good things. When I got to my appointment this morning, I said I only want the very very ends cut off, an inch at the most. It's going into summer. Summer = humidity. Humidity = frizzy hair. And I wanted as much weight as possible on my hair to weigh it down. An inch. 1 inch. The girl who cut my hair must be Canadian or something, and therefore only understands the metric system. She cut at least 4 inches off of my hair. FOUR INCHES. Sigh.

Then, this afternoon I received this email from the Olivet admissions office:

Hi Laura,
I received your application, thank you for completing it.  At this time, we do not have a cohort scheduled.  I was just informed that the state needs to make changes to the program, which need to get approval.  Therefore, we do not have a cohort scheduled.  We are hoping to start one in spring 2015, but at this time, I am not certain.  Would you like me to send you information on if or when our next cohort is scheduled?

Dear Illinois,
Sometimes, I hate you so much that I have trouble putting it into words. But, I'll try. Much like making substitute teachers pass the teacher certification tests in order to ensure they're "qualified" to take attendance and show a movie, I know this is some bullshit plan to squeeze more money out of the poor suckers who call you home. I don't know what these changes are, but I am willing to bet anything it has nothing to do with making teachers better at teaching, and everything to do with putting more money into someone's pocket. Or possibly, a state politician very nearly hit a pothole. So as a result of that near miss, they will be repaving all the roads within a 30 mile radius of Springfield (seriously, has anyone ever driven around Springfield? I-55 there is pristine, like a freaking bowling lane).
I hate you and I hope someday I will no longer call you home.
Laura

So, it's back to square one, again. Why is it this hard? So far 2014 has really not been my year. It's been one disappointment after another. Luckily, that's where wine steps in. I know there are people with far worse problems than my own, and I have to remind myself of that. But even so, sometimes it gets hard to keep a positive attitude and I just want to scream at the universe "WILL SOMETHING PLEASE WORK OUT?!?"

Illinois has a rich history of corruption. 4 of our last 7 governors are/were in prison. Yea, buddy. From the mayor of the smallest town to the man currently living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, it's a bad idea to trust any Illinois politician.  It's a bad idea to get involved in anything this state has its greedy hand in. Since teaching licensure is done at the state level, maybe it's better that I look outside the Land of Lincoln. Maybe I'll look at either online programs from other states or consider moving out of the state. Or maybe I'll say forget this whole being a grown up thing and move abroad again.

Two times only

Today is April 14. It snowed today. And I'm not talking a few flurries. The ground is covered. The trees are covered. I'm wearing fleece pants, fuzzy socks, and a sweatshirt. Sigh.

It's supposed to be 25 degrees tonight. That's going to make for some chilly eclipse watching. Brr.

For those of you who are interested, I continued my red story in the other blog. If you don't have the address anymore/at all, ask me (and only me, and people who have the address, please don't pass it along. I really want to know exactly who has this address).

Gun jumping

Updates

Most of you know from Facebook that Olivet contacted me yesterday regarding their master's program. They decided they would be willing to take the money of someone who already has her teaching license. So, if all goes according to plan, I'll be starting there this fall. Unfortunately, the classes this fall are only at their Bourbonnais campus, not in Joliet. But, I can live with that. Regarding my ongoing practical vs. dreamer struggle, this is a big win for practical. It had to happen sometime. Grown up. 401K roth IRA dental insurance what now?

Most of you also know that I have huge problems leaving things alone. Whether it's the pint of ice cream in the freezer or the person I know I shouldn't contact, I can't ignore things. So, I spoke too soon when I said I would not be responding to young Alex from Coralville. When there is Ben and Jerry's in the freezer, I think about it nonstop until I have no choice but to eat it. When I have something I want to say, I think about it nonstop until have no choice but to say it, even when every voice in my head is saying "Stop. Don't. Have some pride. You make things awkward. Walk away." Young Alex's offer made me laugh, and he is such a cutie. So even though I said I wasn't going to reply, of course I did. I told him I didn't understand why he was having any trouble finding a lady friend for the "romantic fun" he was looking for. He wrote back that he agreed, as long as I said yes to his proposition, he wouldn't have trouble finding what he was looking for. Smooth, Young Alex, very smooth. This time, I really didn't respond. So today he wrote me again, and said I was the only woman he wanted for his "romantic fun" and he was a sucker for gorgeous Cubs fans. Smooth, Young Alex, smooth and a tad bit creepy. Now, it was when I received this last message that I started thinking perhaps Young Alex is catfishing me. I'm not the "only woman" for anyone online. Don't get me wrong, I have a fairly high opinion of myself. But I know that my awesomeness doesn't come across in all its glory until you've met me in person. As I've said before, I'm stupidly unphotogenic and don't take gorgeous pictures, ever. And can someone really know enough to say with certainty that I'm the "only one" based on a few corny lines from an "about me" section? No. No they cannot. So, for Young Alex to tell me after only a few brief exchanges that I'm the only one makes me think that he is full of crap. But, did I respond to him? Of course I did. Why? Because I am completely not capable of walking away from things and because I have a crush on Nev Schulman. If I let Young Alex catfish me long enough, I will email Nev my story, put on my prettiest dress, and wait for him to show up at my door with an MTV camera crew. I did seriously respond to Young Alex, and told him that while right now I am not looking for someone to pick out china patterns with, I am wanting more than a friends with benefits set up. Sorry, Young Alex from Coralville, who is probably actually middle aged Bruce from Cleveland. 

hoping that the dawn will bring a sign

Princeton! What a place...
I definitely have a love-hate relationship with the one town that will always be home to me. Sadly though, in recent weeks, my relationship with Princeton has moved more towards hate and away from love. If I were in a different place in my life, I maybe wouldn't feel this way towards Princeton. But, I'm not. 

Sundays are the worst day of the week to work. We're usually sort of busy, but with people who share dinners, drink gallons of soda and ice tea, and tip less than 10%. So most Sundays, employees lament over how much the evening sucks. Last night was no exception, crappy tips across the board. 
Then, these words were spoken, from the mouth of one of my coworkers, "I just got a $20 tip on a $55 check. Finally, a good tip! It was two guys. I thought they were maybe gay. But, when I saw that they left a good tip, I guess they aren't." Ummm, what? Speak into my good ear, please. 

I love my work family. I really really do. They're my friends.  I can always count on them to have my back and vice versa. I like going to work because even on stressful nights, there's so much laughter. But, when I hear things like that, I just...can't. 

I'm a lover, not a fighter, especially when it comes to anything having to do with religion or politics. Let's agree to disagree and move on because everyone has their opinions. Rarely do those opinions change. So, as much as I wanted to stop and say "Whoa whoa whoa! What? Explain yourself, please!" I didn't. I said something about gay or straight, I didn't care as long as they tipped 20% and I let it go. But, it bothered me. I don't like it when people I know and like say things that are so backwards and just straight up wrong in so many ways. I did some rough budgeting, and if I do my master's while living at home, I'd be able to  get it done without taking out any more loans. But, I just can't. My coworker's comment made me feel even more like I need to pack up and get out. 

I've been giving a lot of thought to future plans. A month ago, I thought things were sort of falling into place. I'd been in contact with an academic advisor at Olivet. The school seemed to have exactly the master's program I was looking for. Plus, this particular program was offered in Joliet rather than on their Bourbonnais campus. Then, a few weeks ago I was in Las Vegas. I was at the National Atomic Testing Museum, watching a little video about nuclear testing during the Cold War. I felt my phone vibrate. I'd received an email from the advisor at Olivet. She informed me that because I already have my bachelor's in secondary education, I was not eligible for this program, as it is only for people who no background in education (even though their program is for elementary education, my degree is in secondary, two completely different things, but don't get me started). Zut alors. My first thought was "Back to square one, those plans just completely blew up." Then, more bombs exploded in the video I was watching. I realized where I was. Fitting. I had to appreciate the irony. 
So, it's looking more and more like if I want to get my elementary certification with a master's, I'll have to do it online. And I'm not knocking online schools. I was just hoping to do it somewhere in an actual classroom, as I think that would be a better fit for me. 
I've also been studying French every day. I'm one credit hour short of being able to take the French teaching content exam. I've forgotten so much, I'm far from being able to pass it at this point. But, I'm hoping if I can spend the next few months studying, remember some stuff, and find somewhere to take a class or two this fall, I'll be at the level I need to be at for the exam. 

BUUUUT, this month I got to go to both Las Vegas and on a road trip through the South. Whenever I go anywhere, even if the trip does not live up to expectations at all, it renews my love of traveling. I wish I could live out of a suitcase for the rest of my life. I enjoy teaching. I like kids. I know that would be a very fulfilling career. But going places makes me feel something completely different. I crave that traveler's high. Traveling is hands down my absolute favorite thing.  And that makes me feel like maybe I need to stop, think, and reevaluate stuff. I don't have the angel and demon doing battle on my shoulders. My internal struggle is practical vs. dreamer. I know someday I'll have to let practical win. I'll have to push my suitcase to the back of my closet and buy more dress pants and pantyhose. Practical is telling me to rip the bandaid off and join the 9-5 world. Dreamer tells me there are lots of jobs that involve going places. Find one. Just when I think the practical side is going to win, there is a set back. And each set back gives a little bit of life to the dreamer. 

Get thee to a nunnery

After I broke up with Kingsley last summer, I didn't immediately feel a lot of the typical breakup emotions. Sadness and missing him came, but it wasn't until a few months after. Even then, it was never the overwhelming cry myself to sleep kind of sadness. It's hard to be too upset over someone who has such problems with infidelity. It's also hard to be too upset over someone who gives himself a new stupid nickname every other week like he's P. Diddy.
Another breakup step I skipped was the need for a rebound. I suppose I knew that one would be difficult, given where I'm currently living, unless I was looking for a rebound who drove a jacked up truck and couldn't spell the word rebound. I wrote a few months ago about my initial foray into online dating. That's as close as I came to a rebound, and I never even met anyone I'd talked to from POF. I deleted my account after only a few weeks. Though, I had several people message me shortly after I wrote the blog about it, and told me if I was serious about dating, I really needed to do one of the pay sites, like Match.com. I thought about it. I thought about it some more. But, then I got busy with Christmas stuff. And I spent all of January and February being too frozen to think about being social and leaving the house.
I've been feeling extremely antsy and bored lately. I need a change. I'm working hard on a change of location, but that takes slightly more time and planning. And I need a change yesterday. So, a few weeks ago, I decided why not, and I paid money to join Match.com.
Holy cats! I'm going to keep this membership forever...and not because I'm meeting lots of the aforementioned passport holding bilingual James Marsden lookalikes who can cook, sing and like to run. Not even close. I'm keeping this membership forever because it's like being a season ticket holder to a freak show.
I mentioned in last week's secret blog about the stupidly bad luck my romantic life has had. I still shake my fist at Iceland and their stupid volcano. I'm certain Match.com will give me many more stories to add to my memoirs. I guess I can't write on here about my first Match.com encounter, though most of my 5 faithful blog readers already know about it. It's not much of a story, but if you're curious, feel free to message me.

So what I can write about, the thing that stands out the most, is that there is a surprisingly huge number of 50+ year old men who think that a 31 year old would be interested in dating them. Maybe if they were George Clooney, we'd get somewhere. But these men are more along the lines of Steve Buscemi, only unemployed. Silver foxes they are not. Last week, a 71 year old messaged me. 71...71...71. Excuse me while I slam my head onto the coffee table a few times. That potential suitor was alive during World War 2.

Then there are the local yokels. At least they are closer in age to me. But I can usually tell quickly it would never work between us. They send messages along the lines of "your cute" and or their phone number and the words "text me" and nothing else. Sigh, just...sigh. Their profiles usually consist of one blurry selfie they took looking in the bathroom mirror in their boxers, and the rest of their pictures are of their dogs, trucks, or whatever animal they killed during the most recent hunting season.

Today, I got this message from a 22 year old, living two hours away in Iowa. Sorry for the profanity, but I can't censor art like this.

Hello :)

Hey there. My name is Alex. You're incredibly pretty! I love your smile. I don't want to beat around the bush so to be honest it's been 5 months and I really want a romantic companion to have some fun with! ;) Looking for a regular thing, as I don't sleep around. 

I hope I'm not coming off as immature or narrow minded. I just have a lot going on in my life and don't think a formal, serious relationship is for me at the moment. That being said I'm up for going on casual dates and don't just want a fuck buddy. I'd like a true friend. Any chance you're interested? :)

Needless to say, I did not write young Alex back. I laughed at his true friend bit, a true friend you just happen to "have some fun with!"  He was actually really cute. I'm not sure why he's paying for online dating, when he's just looking for a friends with benefits set up. I'd think he would being  having lots of luck with the ladies at a bar. Or, if he's not into the bar scene, hasn't he heard of Craig's List? Tinder? OkCupid? Plenty of Fish? Oh Alex, you have so much to learn.  

All I can really do is laugh.  Clearly Match.com isn't working for me. Like I said a few months ago, I'm not looking for a husband. I just want someone who when I say "Let's go save sea turtles in Costa Rica!" will respond with "I'll find a place to stay while you book plane tickets!" But, I'd rather save the sea turtles alone than settle for someone who isn't right or someone who doesn't treat me how I deserve to be treated. My search for a Gilbert Blythe with a boombox playing Peter Gabriel will continue. 

I don't know why that last part is highlighted. I could only figure out how to change the color, not erase it. So I just picked a pretty one and went with it. Once again, blogger has outsmarted me. 

One time only!

So, I wrote a blog entry about my week. I read it and reread it. It's fairly personal. I have no problem sharing personal stories with people I know and like. However, I sometimes get some random hits on this blog, and I have no idea who they are or how they found me. Plus, there are a few people I know who have this address, and I don't know if they still bother reading it or not. But, on the off chance they do, I'd prefer to not share my slightly more personal stories with them.
SO, I made another blog for my story. I'm a dork, I know. And I'm okay with that.
I don't know if I'll ever use that blog again, I guess it depends on what other (if any) personal stories I feel like sharing.

But, if you want the address to my new one time only blog, email me, text me, Facebook me, etc! I'll more than happily send you the address. I didn't put it on a separate blog to keep it away from the people I know who read this. It's the ones I don't know that scare me. 

Crazy cat lady here!

A lot of people have asked about Clarence, and I'm sorry for not updating sooner. I've been worried about jinxing him. He's not out of the woods yet. He's not entirely back to his old self yet. But he has actually gotten much better in the past few weeks. Truthfully, it's been a surprise to us all. When I wrote that blog about him, I didn't think he'd make it through the end of the week. He is doing better though, and has resumed his duties as king of the castle.

 His duties include keeping watch,

asking nicely for things, 

desk work

desk work, 

and more desk work,

guarding his toy,

guarding his toy,

guarding his toy,

and guarding his toy,

 as well as keeping clean. 

 He is also hands on and likes to help with the cooking,

and cleaning.

 

Help

If I need a problem solved, I turn to the great and powerful one. I am, of course, talking about Google. Why is my car's gas mileage getting worse? Google it. What can I do with argan oil? Google it. What's this weird rash? Google it. How do I perfectly toast pecans? Google it.
So what do I do when I have a problem with Google? A while ago, I noticed there was a little message along the side of my Gmail window, where the Gchat (Google Talk, whatever they call it now) sidebar thing is. For several weeks, I didn't bother to read it, because I don't remember the last time I used Gchat. Then a few weeks ago, my mom was looking at her phone and said "Jaime is sending you messages, but they're on my phone." I looked, and sure enough, my gchat messages were going to my mom's phone. I decided I should finally read that message I'd been getting on Gchat. "Oops! You are not invisible because you're logged into Google Talk from another client, device, or location that doesn't support invisibility."  Huh...ok. 
 A week or so ago, I finally joined the smart phone world. But before that, from time to time, I'd check my email on my mom's phone, if I was on a long car ride or waiting for something or someone. Samsung phones have a "hangouts" app, and I guess because I'd logged into Gmail on her phone, it automatically signed me in to Google Hangouts. I figured out how to log out of that. I went back to my Gmail, and that stupid message was still there. I thought it was maybe from my ipods. I turned off the wifi on them. I went back to Gmail, and it was still there. I checked my dad's iPad, which I also use from time to time. I changed my Google password. I clicked on the "Close all active sessions" link. Still nothing. My parents have since changed both of their phones, so I know it's not from that. Chrome is the only browser I ever use, so I know it's not from a different browser on my computer. I even went to Google+ and logged out of that "hangouts" thing on there. Still, it's telling me I'm logged in somewhere. I have no idea. And what drives me even more crazy is that Gchat is telling me I'm logged in, but I'm not getting any of the messages people are sending me, so I just look like a jerk who never responds. The messages don't show up on either of my ipods. They don't show up on my phone. They don't show up on my computer. The only time I can find them is what I click on the "all mail" tab. And weirdly enough, when I see them in there, they are always marked as read. I haven't quite figured out how/why, but I know this has something to do with wannabe Facebook, aka the ghost town that is Google+ and their stupid "hangouts" or whatever they call their chat now. I wonder if I can deactivate that.
Google, normally I love you for solving all my problems. But Google+ was a big miss, a big big miss. It sucks. Get rid of it and while we're at it, please bring back igoogle.
If anyone has any suggestions for me, please tell me! But don't contact me via Gchat.

In the meantime, I'm sorry for anyone whose messages I've ignored. It's not intentional.

Places

At some point in the past several years, I signed up for something with Lonely Planet. I don't remember what it was, but like most other online registrations, that was all they needed to put my email address on their mailing list. I don't mind this type of email so much now that Gmail cleverly sorts email into one of three separate inboxes. Kudos Google. The Lonely Planet emails go into the "promotions" box, with all of the other travel related emails. Though unlike the SNCF and EasyJet promotions which make me sad for a few seconds before I delete them because they're useless to me right now, I often save the Lonely Planet emails until I get around to reading them. Because this winter is horrible and endless, I've gotten a lot of reading done. I recently opened up a Lonely Planet email from a while back. It included a link to their top 10 cities to travel to. No surprise to anyone who's been there, Chicago was #8 on the list. Yea buddy!

I've only been to two of the cities on that list. Well...technically three because I've had several layovers in Shanghai. And despite not being able to waste any time on Facebook during layovers there, everything else about Shanghai's airport is top notch! I hope I can actually see Shanghai outside of the airport sometime. But this list made me start thinking about my favorite cities I've traveled to. 

Chicago is not on my list. That's not because I don't think it's great. It is. I didn't put Chicago on my list because I've lived 100 miles from it for my entire life. I lived there for a time. I don't remember my first visit to Chicago, so I can't compare it to other places as far as experiencing it for the first time. Does that make sense? It does in my head.
And Bordeaux isn't on my list. Bordeaux will always have a very special place in my heart.  Those were the best two years of my life, without a doubt. However that was because of the wonderful, amazing, incredible people I met there. I love the city. It's gorgeous. It's easy to get around. The food is good. The wine is better. Everyone should visit, if given the chance. But my list of favorite cities are all places I'd have no problem going alone. If I ever went to Bordeaux alone, I'd spend the whole time crying because my friends weren't there with me.

Most of the reasons I like a place have to do with  food.

1. Seoul

I write about Korea/Seoul in every blog post. So of course my number one is Seoul. I love this city. There is fantastic (and cheap!) shopping, the public transportation is genius, super simple, spotlessly clean, and ridiculously cheap, crime is nonexistent, and the food...oh my goodness...the FOOD! Aside from the obvious/delicious Korean food, there is everything there from American to Indian to Bulgarian to food trucks selling burritos. I loved living in Seoul, and if I could find a job there that was more career and less "We need a white person to teach at our school", I'd move back in a nanosecond. But I also think it would be an awesome place to travel to. There are museums, festivals, palaces, mountains for hiking in the city, and lots of cool places a short ways out of the city that make for great day trips. Seoul gets a fair amount of tourists, but I'll never understand why it's not on more people's travel radar. If someone from the Korean Tourism Organization is reading this, please hire me. 

2. Paris

Everything in Paris is exactly how it should be, except there isn't a soundtrack of accordion music playing in the background. I don't know how many times I've been to Paris, but even so, it still takes my breath away. I spend the whole time I'm there thinking "EEEEEEE!!! I'm in Paris! Paris Paris Paris! Is this real? PINCH ME!". So beautiful. So so so beautiful. Unfairly beautiful. The food is the stuff dreams are made of. They have entire shops dedicated to cheese. America, why haven't we caught on to that yet? The cathedrals, the museums, the delicious coffee, and the Eiffel Tower...le sigh.

The rest of these aren't in much order. I love them all equally. 

3. Hong Kong

I went to Hong Kong on a whim. I had a long weekend and wanted to go somewhere. HK was the cheapest ticket I found. I knew no one who wanted to go with me, so I thought, "what the heck, I'll go alone." And I did. On that trip I learned two things-traveling alone is awesome and Hong Kong is awesome. It was crowded and expensive, but it was also exciting. The skyline is incredible. The view from Victoria Peak is definitely worth the wait. And it's not all skyscrapers and people. I learned on my trip to Hong Kong that there are also stunningly beautiful beaches and mountains. Who knew? I guess anyone who reads up on Hong Kong a bit before going there, which I did not do. Hong Kong also has really cool markets, which is a huge plus in my book. 

4. Stockholm

Suddenly, IKEA made sense. I know that early November is probably not the ideal time to visit Sweden. But, that's when my break from school was, so that's when I went. The weather was cold and rainy, but inside everywhere was so warm, it felt like a gentle hug whenever I walked inside anywhere. Stockholm made being a tourist incredibly easy. It also made this particular tourist feel very fat and very brunette. But that's okay. Stockholm is a bunch of islands, so of course there's water everywhere. Bodies of water makes walking around a place more interesting and enjoyable, even when you're getting pelted in the face with cold rain. Also, the Vasa Museum has skeletons. What more can a person want?

5. Madrid
I learned on House Hunters International that it's not uncommon to find a deep fryer in a Spanish kitchen. That's a good sign because you know you'll be eating some gooooooood stuff. My first visit to Madrid was an overnight layover in February, so I didn't have long to explore. But I stepped off the train and was immediately in love. The sky was bright blue. It was about 75 degrees (February!). The plazas were full of people enjoying the beautiful weather. Even though the weather was not quite as nice as the first time, I was able to go back to Madrid for a few more visits. Each time, I loved it more. Also, I appreciate a city that at 7 AM is still going strong from the night before.

6. Wrightsville Beach/Wilmington, NC
My family used to vacation here every summer. The last time I was there was in the summer of 2005, but whenever I think of Wrightsville Beach, I still get that warm fuzzy feeling. Nostalgia isn't the only reason I love this city, though I'm sure a lot has changed since 2005. There are so many shops, delicious restaurants (but, sadly for the majority of my vacations here I was in my "chicken fingers and fries" stage. Sigh, so much delicious food I surely missed out on...), and stately homes. Plus, Wrightsville is a beautiful and LONG beach, perfect for walking.

7. Barcelona
Sure, there are the Gaudi buildings, Las Ramblas, delicious food and heavy handed bartenders who aren't afraid to fill a wine glass to the rim. But, the real reason I love Barcelona is because where else can you get your picture taken with an owl plate and two men who are completely naked except for their watches?

8. Chiang Mai
In addition to avoiding the Thai-del-wave, my goal for the trip to Thailand last year was to experience more Thai culture than I did on my first trip. Chiang Mai was the perfect place for that. It's impossible to turn around without seeing a temple. There's also loads of delicious food, ridiculously cheap massages, and markets markets and more markets. Plus, Elephant Nature Park is located a short drive from Chiang Mai. Who doesn't want to spend their vacation feeding pineapple to elephants, shoveling poo, and tubing down a river hoping there aren't snakes or crocodiles?  My life goal is to move to Chiang Mai.

9. San Sebastian 
I spent only a weekend in San Sebastian, but it didn't disappoint. The beaches are beautiful. Basque culture makes things a little weird (one night, there was some celebration going on, which included people carrying around GIANT puppet/doll things. These things were two or three stories high, no clue why), which I love, and the food...I need to pause a minute while I dream about the food...San Sebastian is known for pintxos. In the old part of the city, you can walk into pretty much any bar/restaurant and find pintxos covering the bar. The bartender gives you a plate, you pick out what you want, pay per item, practice the only Spanish you need to know "Vino tinto por favor" and enjoy.  Most of the time, I wasn't entirely sure what I was eating, but it was all delicious. Spain also has really yummy pastries. If I ever moved to Spain, I'd no doubt need two plane seats by the time I left.

10. Marrakesh
I had a hard time deciding between Marrakesh and Udaipur for this last spot on my list. They are both little oases of calm in extremely overwhelming countries. A short distance from both cities is breathtakingly beautiful scenery. I love Moroccan food as much as I love Indian food, and both cities have a lot to offer in the way of delicious local fare. Both cities are full of history and interesting sites. But, I decided to go with Marrakesh for a few reasons. It's more walkable than Udaipur, and I like being able to aimlessly wander. I also like the prayer calls in Muslim countries. I like them less when they are waking me up at 5:30 AM, but they're strange/beautiful and a cool reminder that I'm somewhere so far and different from home. Marrakesh is also home to the biggest market in Morocco. And, even though it's touristy and there was a bombing there a few years ago, Jemaa El Fnaa square is really cool, and FULL of all kinds of amazing food, everything from the best fresh squeezed orange juice you'll ever taste, to apricots, to grilled meat. So good. SO SO GOOD.


DO OVERS!
There are a few places I've been that had potential to be awesome, but for whatever reason things prevented me from fully experiencing their awesomeness.

Portugal
It was on this trip that I learned the importance of guidebooks. I'd done some googling, and came with a few notes in hand, but for the most part I didn't do my homework before going to Portugal. I didn't know what the important sites were. I didn't know what Portuguese food was must try. I've been to Portugal, but I feel like I didn't really experience Portugal.

The Philippines 
The Philippines has so much potential, but everything about this trip was wrong. Like Portugal, I didn't do enough reading before visiting. If someone were to ask me what was good to eat in the Philippines, I'd say mangoes and nothing else. Because I have no idea what Filipino cuisine is. I also got sick shortly before this trip, and I spent most of the time there feeling like I just wanted to sleep somewhere quiet and alone, which my 3 travel companions mistook for me being in a bad mood. Then on the morning we left, I realized how much I'd been looking forward to this break from work, and got really anxious about returning to Korea. Dumb, I know. I love Korea and the trip had been lackluster. But this anxiousness grew all morning, until I had a panic attack in the van on the way to the airport. I felt like I couldn't breathe or speak. I kept it together as best I could, but really needed alone time to take some deep breaths and calm myself down so I didn't start sobbing. Alone time in an airport isn't really possible. So I put my headphones on and wrote in my journal. Saying something to my travel companions never crossed my mind, because headphone/journal time is NBD, right? I'd done it frequently while traveling with my friends from Bordeaux. Wrong. I should have realized I wasn't with my friends from Bordeaux and said something. My travel companions saw this as me being antisocial and negative. Despite efforts to talk and smooth things over after we got back, peace was never restored. My excommunication from this group wasn't any huge shock because the ringleader of the three was one of those girls who thrives off of junior highesque drama and had enemies/former friends everywhere she went.  Unfortunately, these girls were also my coworkers, so work had a very 3 against 1 feeling for the next several months. Unfun. I need to disassociate The Philippines with that disaster of a trip, because I'm sure it's actually a cool place.

Istanbul
Istanbul has everything I want in a city-delicious food, places to walk around, and old things to see. Sadly though, I visited Istanbul on my way home from Korea. And my heart was still 100% in Seoul. I was looking at incredible sites, but rather than thinking "Holy smokes! This is how old??" I was thinking "I wonder what my Earth Class babies are doing..." or thinking about my loser ex-boyfriend, in addition to having wicked bad jet lag for the first few days of my shortish visit there. Sorry Istanbul! You deserve better!