kinderhearts

This is how I spend my time at work, rather than actually teaching the kids.

I'll update for real sometime this weekend.

the list

I've been getting asked why a lot, so I decided to stop being lazy and explain the thinking behind making my blog private.
There is one very simple reason-the world is not ready for my genius yet. Haha...but really...

So the other day I saw a "stats" tab at the top of the homepage. I had never noticed that before. Wow! Maybe it's new. Maybe I'm just not very observant. Either way, I clicked on it. I was pretty surprised by my stats. I have my blog set so that it is not searchable (is that even a word? Spell check tells me no) online. So if someone were to Google "Laura blog Bordeaux Seoul" or whatever they would not find me. It does not show up on Google, unless you Google "redwineandshellfish.blogspot.com" Then it is linked on some random blog website or something. But basically my blog is hardish to find. So I was a bit surprised when I found out there were 41 views from South Korea last week. There are only two people here who have the address of my blog, and one of those people I don't want reading it. But even so, 41 views when only two people I know of have the address here? I don't say anything horribly bad, but I would really prefer if my school does not read my blog. I don't know that they were, but I was freaked out by 41 views from Korea on my blog. Who is reading it? Who? WHOOOOOO? So I decided to make it private for awhile. Maybe people will stop checking it after a few months, and I will be able to change it back.

ch ch ch

So, I made my blog private. I am sorry for the hassle. But from my understanding you can read it as a guest for a month (?) without a Google account. Maybe? I don't know actually. I'm still a bit confused by how this all works. I'll probably only keep it private for a bit, then I'll go back to sharing my genius with the entire world.

I will explain my reason for doing this tomorrow, or Monday...or Tuesday. But right now, it's Saturday night and the eve of my 29th birthday. I'm going to leave the drinks, clubs, and loud music to the youngsters. Right now I am going to celebrate my birthday eve by eating some junk food and watching a movie. Grrrrreat birthday celebration night!

heh

My student's feelings about learning English

I got a feeling!

This morning walking to school I passed by an old woman wearing a bedazzled t shirt that said "Kiss Ass!"

It was awesome. I thought "Wow, I think today's going to be a good day!"

I started feeling worse as the day went on. Not such a great day...I'm sick for the umpteenth time in a little over a year. Why Korea, why????

But then I think back to the woman in the t shirt, and I know that no matter how sick Korea makes me, I can never stay mad at it because only here (and probably Japan and China too) can you see old women wearing t shirts they bought simply because they thought "Oooh, sparkly!" without having the slightest idea what it said.

Laura-OUT! Debbie Downer-IN!

Despite being a Monday, today started out perfect. The sun was shining. The sky was blue. The air was warm. And best of all, there was no school because it is Korean Memorial Day. I lazed around, drank an entire pot (though my carafe is small, only like 3 cups) of coffee, cooked breakfast with friends, then lazed some more. Finally this afternoon I decided to get outside and do something. Since I am on a super budget, I decided "something" would be a stroll around my neighborhood. It seemed perfect. It's outside and free. I didn't even have to pay the 80 cents for a ride on the subway. I had been wanting to explore my neighborhood more anyway.

I started walking, down small side streets, ignoring the "foreigner, are you lost?" stares I received from the locals. All was going well, I walked and saw shop after shop selling restaurant equipment-coolers, BBQ tables, dishes, chairs, vents, etc.

Twas lovely, until...

I'd heard it was there. I didn't know where it was exactly. But I had been told of its existence. Now I can't get its image out of my head. Seeing it with my own eyes was way worse than I thought it would be.

I saw dogs, in a cage.

Not just one cage, several. Not just one restaurant (butcher? I didn't take the time to see exactly what the set up was), several. Not just one dog per cage, several.

Before I came to Korea, for some reason in my head I thought the dogs they ate were not snuggly buddy friend dogs. I thought they were more like mutant rodent prairie dog type critters. The first time I saw dog meat for sale, my happy bubble was quickly burst. And now, actually seeing those snuggly buddy friend dogs in cages completely broke my heart. Any desire to try dog meat (and I admit, I was curious) is gone gone GONE! These angels were crammed in there, 4-5 buddies per cage, and the cages were not big. The dogs however, were big. There was one that had to be at least part St. Bernard. SO CUTE! SO SO SAD! I couldn't help staring, especially when I saw the owner's pet dog sitting beside them. ???? Then, a few shops down the street there were more doggies in cages, as well as some chickens, and three tiny little black and white kittens. I don't think they eat cat here. At least that is what I am going to tell myself.
After that I no longer felt like going for a walk. I felt like I do after I watch the Human Society of the US's youtube channel (which, by the way, did anyone else watch their video about Stallone, the dog they rescued from the dog fighting ring? I cried my eyes out!). I returned to my apartment and cuddled with Ted, the closest thing to a pet I have here.
I wish I had an airplane time machine. I would set it for USA preMarch 2008. I want to give this girl a hug.

And, as long as I'm being Sally Sadsack-I went to visit a friend in the hospital yesterday. Remind me never to get sick in Korea. Hospitals are not particularly happy places, but this place makes the hospitals in the US seem like Disney World. And apparently, there are MUCH worse/more depressing hospitals here. There were like 8 people in a room. Everything was dull, depressing, smelly, etc. My friend told me that even though she is able to eat solid foods, the hospital does not offer that to any of its patients. They are only allowed to eat soft foods like porridge. Beurk. She has been in the hospital for nearly 3 weeks now. I can't imagine...

Please, if I get sick here, someone fly me home.

email capsule

I found a link on Bored.com. It was for an email time capsule. You write yourself an email, put the date you want it sent, and the address, and voila!
So today, I received an email from past Laura.
It said:
Dear Future Version of Me,
Right now, I want to give up. I am overwhelmed, and homesick, and feeling friendless, and living in a hotel. I miss France. I miss the US. I don't really want to be here. At all.

I am proud of myself for surviving a year in Korea. Thumbs up Laura. Stay in the US for a while now. The good byes are too hard.
Written at Sun May 30, 2010

Hahahaha, then I got this one a short while later.

Dear Future Version of Me,
STAY HOME. The goodbyes are too hard. The adjusting is too hard. The being alone is too hard. Stay home.
Written at Mon May 31, 2010

So clearly that was written before I added the extra time onto my contract and I thought I would be home now. Haha.
I barely remember doing that. Looking back, I suppose I was jumping the gun a little bit, considering when I wrote that I had been here two days. But it was a very difficult first couple of weeks here, and I do give myself two big thumbs up.

Part of me wishes I was home now, and that I hadn't extended. But there are big changes coming soon, and I am excited to see where things go. School has gotten a lot smaller, so no new teachers have been hired since last summer. But we are getting two at the end of this month, and two at the end of July as well. The new blood is definitely needed, especially because right now the entire staff is female...estrogen overload. This morning one of my coworkers walked behind me for most of the walk to school. She even stood awkwardly behind me when I stopped to wait for the light to change at an intersection. She never acknowledged her presence, but my wicked good Spidey senses told me she was there. Le sigh. I almost turned around and said "HEY! HOW'S IT GOING???? I DIDN'T SEE YOU BACK THERE!" But in my ongoing quest to be an adult, I simply let her think her CoveOp was a success, and picked up my pace.

I'm going to be 29 soon. I'm feeling ready for retirement and ready to hang up my dancing shoes. I'm supposed to meet my friends in 6 minutes, at a subway stop 30 minutes away. I'm still in my work clothes, though my skirt was traded for boxers. I have no make up on. My hair was just taken out of a bun. Clearly I'm far from ready, but I am having trouble digging up the motivation to do anything about it. Can't I just stay home and put a puzzle together while catching up on Modern Family and 30 Rock, go to bed at a sensible time and wake up early to make strawberry pancakes like a normal almost 29 year old?

I just need a little Bieber and Enrique, and I'll be ready to go.