And I feel fine

Well friends, this is it. While staying on the lookout for any horsemen, I've had a pretty good last day on earth. It's all revolved around cooking/baking, enjoying the glow from the fire in the fireplace and the lights on the tree, listening to Christmas music, and watching winter storm Draco do its best to try and give us a white Christmas. 

There are molasses cookies in the oven and stew cooking in the crock pot. So many delicious smells! 

The storm knocked out our satellite, so listening to the usual Traditional Holidays station on Sirius was not an option. I turned the radio on, and "Good Riddance" was playing. Fitting. 

Overall, the world ending tomorrow is not entirely bad. I didn't really feel like working all weekend anyway. 

For some music on our last evening, here is one of my favorite Christmas songs from my second favorite Christmas movie. If by some strange and unlikely chance the Mayans/the people interpreting the Mayan calendar got it wrong, this is still a nice song. 

Not the time

I taught kindergarten on Friday. I've taught this class several times this year. While not the smartest class I've ever worked with (I passed out their standardized test scores Friday, one of the students is in the first percentile, the high score for the class was around the 75th, most were in the 30s), they are sweet, energetic, excitable 5 and 6 year olds. And I enjoy the time I spend with them.
Not owning a smart phone means on days I teach, I am unable to check the news, Facebook, etc. So I didn't know what was going on Friday in CT until I was home for the day. I am so thankful for that, because I'm not sure I could have made it through the afternoon without crying. This is beyond heartbreaking, beyond tragic. Kindergarten and 1st grade are my absolute favorite ages of students, and how a person could do something like that is unfathomable.

Since social media became mainstream, political debates are no longer limited to the water cooler or over a beer at the local bar. And since we are able to hide behind our computers, gentility seems to be out the window. So naturally, like everything else that happens, this terrible tragedy has spurred many online debates. I'm not trying to single out one side. I'm seeing liberals posting about increased gun laws and racial profiling (when white people do it, it's mental health. when black people do it, it's gang violence). I'm seeing conservatives posting about their 2nd Amendment rights (guns don't kill people, people do). I avoid political debates on Facebook for the most part. No one ever changes their point of view because of an argument via Facebook. All it does is start something, and nothing good really comes of it. 

But when I saw this, never have I wanted to start something so badly.

How can people be so callous, and while calling themselves Christians? When I started seeing this and things like it yesterday, many people in Connecticut still had bodies of their loved ones in that school. To suggest that this happened because it's a secular school is disgustingly offensive. Sadly, I'm not terribly surprised this started, because it happened with the Boxing Day tsunami. It happened with the earthquake in Haiti. But for some reason, saying it with this tragedy, and so soon after is much more offensive to me. Anyone who buys into this should be ashamed of themselves. Those children were innocent 6 and 7 year olds. What about the women who were killed? They were just earning a living. I'm positive that most people posting that picture earn their income in secular businesses of some sort. And what about the churches that get blown up routinely in northern Nigeria? What about the the Sikh Temple in Wisconsin? What about the Amish girls in Nickel Mines? If there are more God fearing people than the Amish, I'd like to know who they are. 

One time I was talking to my therapist about religion. After listening for a bit, he asked me if I was an atheist. I'm not, though I know my faith is slightly different than some other Christians. But the God I believe in lives in the hearts of his followers, not a building. 

I wish there was an easy answer for stopping this sort of heartbreaking violence. I don't know what it would be. I do know I'd rather give up my 2nd Amendment rights than see this happen again. Stricter gun laws are the obvious quick fix for this. If nothing else, it would at least hopefully buy us some time to get at the real problem, which (in my opinion) is why? A person who wants to do that kind of harm will find a way, even if he/she can't purchase a gun legally. But what goes so wrong in a person's mind that they want to do this? 

The most important thing to remember while we are all practicing armchair politics is that we are talking about human lives. There are 20 children whose gifts from Santa will remain in a bag under mom and dad's bed. There are families who lost mothers, wives, and daughters because those educators sacrificed their lives to save the lives of their students. Now is not the time to bring up religion in school, especially in such a thoughtless manner.

cliche sunrise photo

This December is shaping up to be much like last year's-springlike. Last Monday I was in Chicago, where I saw many people walking around in short sleeves. The 70 degree temperature made drinking gluhwein while Christmas carols played in the background at Chistkindlmarket feel somewhat wrong. While I do love and hope for a white Christmas, I wasn't about to complain. I like wine. I like Christmas. I like warm weather. It was an A+ Monday trifecta.

Though there have been exceptions like last Monday, for the most part the weather has been pretty depressing. It's rainy, gray, and damp. Snow would be nice. Sun would be nice. I'd settle for anything else.

So a few mornings ago, this is what I saw outside.

I still plan on moving to Florida once I get over my fear of alligators, hurricanes, and this. But it was mood brightening to see something besides gray.

My Korea plans are mostly in order. My passport will hopefully arrive this week. The closer the departure date gets, the less excited I feel about it, and I have a theory. One of my college profs used to joke with us that the reason she hated going to the library was the commute (walk across the quad). Once she there, things were fine. She worked great. It was quiet and distraction free. And she always knew that. But the thing that caused her to drag her feet was the anticipation and the commute. I am feeling the same way. The journey to Korea is the opposite of fun. This time around I have a middle seat on a United flight (which means no personal TV, only the awkward ones hanging from the ceiling that you can't really see that well, usually showing movies I don't want to watch anyway, and surly flight attendants) from Chicago to Tokyo. Then I have a 2 hour layover there, before a few hour flight on to Seoul. I'll be the first to point out that I felt a bit silly saying I'm upset because the plane I'm flying on doesn't have personal TVs. White person problem. But, I have motion sickness which sometimes makes it impossible for me to read on a plane without getting a migraine. I also can't sleep on planes. AND, I'm an extremely nervous flyer. If I sit with nothing to distract me, I often think too hard about the fact I'm 35,000 feet above the ground which leads to mini panic attacks, especially if there's even the slightest bit of turbulence. It's not like watching old episodes of network sitcoms on a TV implanted in the backside of the seat in front of me is my favorite thing to do, but it's at least a slight distraction.  So back to my original point, while I am excited to spend some time in Korea, eat some delicious food, get my stuff back, etc, I'm really nervous for this "commute" which is giving me a general feeling of not excited for this whole thing.