Christmas in March?

I make no secret of the fact I HATE cold weather, especially when I feel cheated out of my yearly warm weather by an especially rainy Korean summer. In the cold, I turn into a grouchy hermit. I don't want to leave the warmth of the indoors. Even the quickest errands seem painful. I hate driving in winter weather. In my perfect world, the thermometer never gets below 80. I have no use for winter...

Except during Christmas. I love Christmas more than I hate winter. And snow is part of a perfect Christmas. This is a picture Eliza took last Christmas.

That is Christmas perfection.

This is a picture I took from our deck this morning.

That looks like early spring. It's been in the 40s for most of the past couple weeks. It feels like early spring. This is completely unacceptable Christmas weather. Christmas is cold and snowy, not gray and rainy.

All month I've been singing the line from the Snow song in the movie White Christmas, "What is Christmas with no snow? No white Christmas with no snow"

Le sigh. It's not been feeling much like Christmas this year, and I blame it on the lack of winter weather.

But at least the Morris family Christmas tree looks as good as ever. FYI-in addition to snow, another Christmas rule is a real tree must be used. It's one of Santa's laws.

And, for your holiday viewing enjoyment, here is a clip from White Christmas, which is a fantastic movie that everyone should watch.

ANNNNDDDD, as long as I'm on the subject of Christmas movies, here is a clip from It's a Wonderful Life, the best Christmas movie ever, and one of my all time favorite movies. If you have not seen it, shame on you. Drop what you are doing and watch it. Now. Seriously, SO GOOD! My mom's cat got his name from this movie.

I don't know, I lettered in band (true story)

In Korea, the students had "gym" class. Given the school's unwillingness to hire a legit gym teacher, and the massive failure that was their attempt to make the teachers do structured activities (despite giving all the teachers whistles and gym activity packets), SLP gym class was little more than chitchat time for Meagan and me, while the students ran around the gym building forts out of mats, then crying uncontrollably when another student knocked down the fort. This was my gym class crier, SuHyeok.

And one more of him because he is cute, and I miss my kiddies so so SO much. This time he is driving a chair.

The first time the gym class tears came, he was so hysterical I thought something serious had happened. He tucked himself into the corner of the jungle gym, and I had to crawl into it and physically carry him out. He refused to tell me what happened. Finally, one of the Korean teacher teachers got the reason for the tears of him. "They knocked down my thing"...huge sigh...and more crying. After this it became a semi regular occurrence.

Despite my lack of whistle, I technically was a gym teacher, but not by choice. While I understand the importance of physical activity, I seriously question the mental health of those who willingly teach PE for a living.

I subbed for a PE teacher on Friday. Here are some gym class observations:

The smell. One of life's great questions-what is that gym class smell? The gym itself doesn't have the smell if you go in the evening for a basketball game or band concert, but all gym classes have the gym class smell, kind of like a mix of dirty kids and Nerf balls. I've taught gym at three different schools, and they all have that smell. And as soon as I smell it, it takes me back to the horror that was gym class in jr. high and high school.

The made up games. There are plenty of sports in the world, definitely enough to fill a year of PE class. So why do gym teachers feel the need to make up their own games? On Friday, we played "spiderball" which is a variation of dodgeball. Why couldn't we play regular dodgeball? What the heck is spiderball? Even after spending 4 hours straight watching kids play it, I'm still not entirely sure, but I know this much-IT NEVER ENDS. For real. There is no ending. There are no teams, and when one student gets out, another one gets back in, yet the game ends when all the students are out except one. Does that make sense? Of course not. Why not? BECAUSE IT IS NOT A REAL SPORT! Why did we have to play flickerball? Wasn't flag football bad enough? And those stupid tests they would give us? WHY WHY WHY???

"Yeah, this week we are going to finish up our unit on 4 corner soccer, so your test will be Monday." Really? As if making us play a a made up sport for 3 weeks wasn't bad enough, then they tested us on it too?

The students.

Every gym class is filled with a wide variety of students, yet they are the same in every school, in every gym class.

There are the hard core students. You know the ones. They always have to be team captain. They give their teams names like "Team USA" or "The Master Spikers" and they take every sport seriously, even the fake ones. When their netball team fails to make the PE class playoffs, they suddenly find themselves questioning the meaning of life, and wondering about the direction they are headed in. The see their dreams of medical school floating away, only to be replaced with visions of making a living walking along beaches and construction sites with metal detectors, seeing what they can dig up.

There are the criers. SuHyeok. Often times the criers are wannabe hard core students, but they are lacking the talent to make their dreams of PE class championships become reality.

There are the injury fakers. As the students get older, the injury fakers become the girls who sit out due to cramps. Dumb, exercise helps cramps. Anywho, the injury fakers are the ones who bring a doctor's note at least once a month for injuries that only plague them during the 45 minutes a day they are supposed to be in PE. When they do actually dress for PE, they no doubt get injured within the first 10 minutes of class, and spend the rest of the time sitting on the bleachers.

Then, there are the indifferent students. This is what I was. I could not care less how my PE team did. I was always picked last because the hard core students knew my PE indifference would hurt The Master Spikers chances of going all the way. The only good part of PE was when the team I was on had an odd number of players, and people had to rotate out.

I of course saw all these students during Friday's spiderball games. It took me back to when I was a student in PE class. Friday could not end soon enough.

I've not just been subbing for PE though. I've been all over, teaching Bureau County's finest young minds.

Yesterday, I taught third grade. One girl wrote a love song during recess. She performed it for me. It was AWESOME. I've never come so close to laughing in a child's face. She asked me to hold her lyrics while they were in computer class. I quickly did a tour of the building, looking for a xerox. I failed, so I took a picture instead.

She is no Taylor Swift. I'm not sure where a 9 year old comes up with this stuff. In case you can't see the picture clearly:

Song I (heart) you

I love you so much

I wold come and rescu you

I am shour

But there

is one thing more I will

fight for you you will fight

for me we will come bake

for etch other will you come

bake and love me so much

There you have it, written by future Grammy winner Autum. At first I thought she spelled her name wrong, then I looked at the class roster. Nope. It wasn't her mistake. It was her parents.

If anyone wants me to reenact the singing, let me know. It's not to be missed.

Marching, take 2!

As I've said before, I know cool, and nothing is cooler than a marching band. So when a friend posted this on Facebook, I about wet myself with glee. Seriously awesome! When I was in high school, the Traveling Vietnam Memorial Wall came to Princeton. The town had a little ceremony, some veterans spoke, and the Princeton High School Marching Tigers played a medley of all the various military branches' songs. We weren't quite this good.

Seriously, the Air Force and the Navy!! Gah!

Laura 2012 edition

Each December, for a few fleeting moments I think about New Year's resolutions. And each year, I briefly consider making one. But I never do. I don't really hate them. Not really. Kind of. A little. I think the main reason I never seriously made one was because what would I do?

Diet? Yeah right.

Exercise? I kind of already do, sometimes halfheartedly, but it's not worth making a resolution for.

Stop smoking? I would have to start first, which aside from being disgusting, would also hurt my already halfhearted exercise attempts.

Start a hobby? Perhaps, but why would this be good for a new year? If I wanted to start a coin collection, I would start today, not wait until January 1.

So, my New Year's resolutions are never anything more than thinking "Hmmmm, maybe I will make a resolution this year" after seeing a late December Jenny Craig commercial about "making this year THE year!"

Rather than thinking about resolutions, I like to use December as a time for reflection. And this has been quite a year. It is a good thing that I am not working full time because I have a lot to reflect upon.

I have never been one to have a huge group of friends. I prefer a few close friends that I can talk to at great lengths, friends that I would do anything to help, as well as count on for always having my back. I like to know well a few quality people, not a collection of Facebook friends I maintain little contact with aside from using them to look ultra popular on my birthday. I like to know my friendships are strong. My first 7 months in Korea, I deviated from that. It was fun to a point, but at the end of the day, I felt like I was missing something. I felt lonely. I missed my friends from France. I missed having friends that I could sit with at a cafe talking for hours and being so engrossed in the conversation that no one realized too much wine had been drank. Doing tequila shots in a trashy dance club is not my scene, but it was the scene of my pseudo friends. I am anything but a party girl. I never liked speaking up. I'm not a planner, I'm a follower. I was always worried if I suggested something different, they would not like me, and having someone not like me was unthinkable.

The funny thing about pseudo friendships is that they don't last. For reasons I am not still not entirely sure about, everything fell apart in February. I tried to talk to them. One of them flat out refused, saying she had "no desire to socialize with me again" I did talk to another one of them. I thought we worked things out, but yet every time I messaged her to see if she wanted to do something, she didn't respond. Not once. And one of them, the one I'd been friends with for the longest (only barely over a year, but still) just stopped talking to me. I'd never felt so betrayed. I'd never been involved in something so junior high, even when I was in junior high. I'd never felt so alone. It was three against one. Suddenly my Friday nights were ice cream and pajama pants, not dresses and loud music.

Then, I started thinking about those "friendships" that I no longer had. How well did they REALLY know me? Not all that well. We seldom had meaningful, interesting, and long talks. Did I feel good about myself when I spent time with them? Sometimes, not always. Often times they would say horrible things about other people, and I found myself joining in. When did I become this? I even heard them all say really mean things about each other, when others were not present. What had Korea done to me? Not only was I not defending people I had no issues with, I was doing it right along with them. I wanted to feel accepted. I didn't want them to not like me. I realized I did not like who I had become. I was not the mean gossip who spends every weekend night at a bar, then barely waking up in time to see the sunset the next evening.

Plus, real friends talk out issues, even if it means an uncomfortable confrontation. Real friends have an interest in saving a friendship. Clearly, I had made some bad bad choices. Where were my real friends?

So, after some lonely lonely weeks, I realized those friendships falling apart was a good thing. Who needs people like that? It forced me make new friends. It forced me to find other people to spend time with, and I was more selective the second time around. I saw new things. I went new places. I volunteered Saturdays instead of sleeping all day. I got to know Korea outside of the nightlife, and I loved what I saw. I left Korea with what I consider to be a few very good friends. Friends that I can have interesting conversations with, friends that understand a person can have a bad couple of days, but they don't ruin a friendship.

This year has helped me see that I have some really fabulous people in my life, and I'm thankful for each and every one of them. The events of this year have also inspired me to make my first real New Year's resolution: I want to be more of a planner and less of a follower. I want to speak up if I hear someone saying something I don't like. I will say no if someone invites me to do something that I don't want to do. If someone doesn't like me, I don't care. Life goes on. My opinion of myself is the only one that matters, and I know that I am awesome.

In case you are wondering, I have to start my resolution a bit early because 2012 will not be a full year due to the apocalypse next December. Get your crystals.

And a few weeks into January, if I realize this resolution is failing, I can always make this the year I start scrapbooking while maintaining a successful diet plan.

la escuela

My life right now consists of subbing and eating as many holiday flavored (peppermint, eggnog, gingerbread, pumpkin, etc) treats as I can find.

An interesting part of any substitute teacher's life is the never knowing the night before what the next day will bring. A day off or work? Each morning I wake up about 6:30, and wait for the phone to ring. By about 7:15, when the phone has remained silent, I prepare myself for a day off and ponder all the important questions that go along with it-do I wear the flannel or the fleece pj pants? What do I want to eat for breakfast? Should I make pancakes? Will I actually shower today? Should I take my nap on the sofa or in my bed?

So this morning, 7:15 came and went, and I started dreaming of pancakes covered in apple butter. I envisioned a quiet morning spent sipping coffee (with eggnog flavored cream!) while working on my current puzzle. Ahhhh...a day off...7:43-RIIINNNGGGG! What? Most of the area schools start at 8, but yet even before I looked at the caller ID, I knew my breakfast would be yogurt and my coffee intake would be limited to one cup that I drank while drying my hair, and then would spend the rest of the morning regretting the coffee as I wait impatiently for a chance to visit the ladies' room.

Conversation:

Me:Hello?

Secretary: Laura? This is Rita from DePue School. Are you able to sub today?

Me: Uhhhh...well, does your school start at 8?

Rita: No...actually it starts at 7:45.

Me: ............I'm in my pajamas.

Rita: Well, if you can come anytime after you get ready, that is ok.

Me: Ok.

Rita : You will be teaching ESL.

Me: ..............I don't speak any Spanish. Is that ok?

Rita: It's fine. You're just babysitting anyway.

Me: Ok, see you in an hour.

So my day off was not to be, but I like money more than coffee and puzzles anyway. Now, DePue...for those of you who were not blessed enough to be born and raised in the Illinois Valley, allow me to enlighten you.

Close your eyes if you will, and imagine a small village in Mexico, with a population of slightly less than 2000 people. Now, delete from your mind the image of a quaint Mexican village, full of carts serving to die for guacamole and Mariachi bands roaming the streets. And instead, imagine a trashy village in Mexico, where yards have no grass, but rather every square inch is covered up with plastic decor, no Mariachi bands are to be found but could not be heard anyway due to the mufflerless cars filling the streets, and the "pristine" lake on the town's edge is super polluted with metals, a gift to Mama Nature from a chemical plant that was (is?) located nearby, which also makes the town always smell like farts. The school mascot is the Little Giant. I think that is a reference the stunted growth of the citizens of DePue, due to all the exposure to chemicals they have. Add a few white people, just enough to give each class in school one or two white kids, Now, imagine that village being transported to the Illinois Valley, a few short miles from chez Morris. Charmed?

Side note-DePue is also where Eliza and I waited out the tornado that hit two summers ago, we passed the time filming videos of ourselves, in case we didn't make it.

So, I went to DePue today. The teacher was having some sort of problems, and did not realize until late this morning that she was not going to school today, hence my phone call two minutes before their school day started. Her "lesson plans" were scribbled onto an index card, all 8 classes she taught...on one index card, very thorough. Most said things like 7th-worksheet, in bk. ???? Huh. Ok. What worksheet in what book? No books were labeled. No books were even to be found for that matter. There was just a messy stack of worksheets on her desk.

So I gave classes various worksheets, probably the wrong ones, until I ran out of sheets, around the 5th period, after which I simply said "You get study hall today, one at a time you can go to your locker. If you don't listen to what I say, you are going directly to the principal's office. This is your only warning" It worked nicely for me. And hopefully next time this teacher is absent because she "just doesn't have any energy!" she will at least have the energy to leave me more than an index card of lesson plans.

Why isn't there a delicious Mexican restaurant in DePue? There are two grocery stores, both of which are Mexican groceries. If I don't work tomorrow, I may return to DePue, in search of Mexican restaurant style tortilla chips. Big plans.

Eggnog me!

I've been a lean mean subbing machine lately. More emphasis on the mean subbing machine part of that, and less on the lean. But I've decided to bite the bullet, and join the gym tomorrow. I've managed to avoid it for a few years now, thanks to a decent walk to work in Korea, and biking everywhere in France. However, with the weather getting cold, the idea of running is becoming more and more daunting. I know hard core runners would tell me to suck it up, to which I would tell them to simply suck it. I don't do cold. When it comes down to it, I don't especially love running. I just like guilt free dessert, and running is the easiest/cheapest exercise. So, in an effort to eat my way through December with minimal guilt, tomorrow for the first time in 2 1/2 years, you can find me at the Bureau County Metro Center. Barf.

Happy Happy Turkey Day!

The last Thanksgiving I celebrated at home was 2007. So needless to say, I was so super stoked for Thursday. I would be lying if I said it wasn't a major reason I came home. And despite having a migraine on Wednesday and a lingering upset stomach Thursday morning, everything was delicious! I love Thanksgiving!!!!!!

My last box of stuff I shipped from Korea arrived yesterday. I am now reunited with all my stuff. Shipping via boat is awesome, and the US should offer that option. It takes about 5 weeks, but the cost is minimal. The most I paid for a box was about $30, and these were BIG boxes, full of heavy things like books, purses, boots, coats, etc. But it's been weird to open my boxes. Everything still smells like my apartment in Seoul. It makes me homesick for Seoul and the tiny bit of space that was entirely mine. I miss my little apartment. The piece de resistance (yes, I know that is supposed to have accents, but I have issues with including accents when typing on an English keyboard, just unnecessary and slightly pretentious) was my SLP 2010 DVD, which immediately upon receiving I forced my mom to watch. She was a good sport and watched a lot of it. Others who see me in the next couple months should expect the same. Bring a comfy seat and some popcorn!

I've been subbing a decent amount since I got my name on the sub list. This past week I subbed in a kindergarten class and a junior high special ed class. It's been ok. I honestly liked the 4th grade the best, I think. The kindergartners were cute, but there was one boy in the class who ruined it. That is a topic for a whole different blog post, so I will not get into that now.

game face-ON

The next two days I will be subbing in a 4th grade class. My authorization from the Regional Office of Education says "Secondary" My legit teaching certificate is secondary (grades 6-12), but I didn't even know there were those options on a substitute certificate. Ummm? I didn't mention that bit to the woman who called me, because aside from my 3 "substitute" days at SLP last month, I've not worked since the end of September. I NEED TO WORK!

I'm not too concerned about that. Despite no longer being able to play the foreigner card, I'm quickly remembering that ignorance is universal, and should this be an issue, I'll just do my best "What? I don't understand" act.

My real concern is 4th grade. 4th grade???? EEEEEEK! Maybe I should have at least rewet my subbing feet with 8th or 9th grade, the classes I am used to subbing for.

Fingers crossed.

team change

Thanks for reading this. I will write more frequently when I have things to write about, but in my current state of unemployment, it is difficult to find the subject matter. Anywho, I'm not abandoning "I'm Not Home" simply because I am.

I made an interesting realization the other day. All my life, I've always thought of Europe as kind of a perfect place. The buildings are beautiful. The food is flavorful. The people are sophisticated and stylish. I spent the last year and a half dreaming of my return. Turkey definitely has that European feel to it, but what I realized while I was there is that I am now an Asia girl. When I think about my top places to visit list, Germany, Italy and Greece no longer make the cut. I want Mongolia, Vietnam, Japan, Taiwan, Bali, and India. Asia is big, cheap (minus Japan), busy, and exciting. The food is awesome and sometimes a bit scary. The fashion has way more creativity than that in Europe, and costs a whole lost less. And, I know I've said it once and I'll keep saying it because I can't stress how true it is-the subway is Seoul is AWESOME. 90 cents a ride, pristine, and easy to use.

Despite being led to Korea under false pretense ("Laura, you'll love it!" was code for "Please go to Korea, because I get $300 if you do"), I really did love it. I miss it. And I can't stop thinking about how delicious and warming a bubbling hot bowl of kimchi jjigae would be on this dreary and rainy fall day.

I have been trying to put some pics from Istanbul on here, but blogger has other plans. So that probably won't happen.

But here's some good advice-add "go to Asia" on your bucket list. You won't regret it.

Reverse CS

I arrived back in the US on Wednesday afternoon. Since summer of 2009, I've spent a total of 3 weeks in the US. Not a lot of time = a lot of reverse culture shock. Things that make you say whoa.

Food. Yogurt containers are HUGE here. Eggs are sold in cartons of 12, not 10. My hand fits in the Pringles can. What happened to the Princeton McDonalds? TWO DRIVE THRUS? Whoa. Why are there no rolls of toilet paper sitting on tables? Where is the water dispenser? The cashier handed me my change with her left hand! Why am I the only one who bows? Princeton has an Italian restaurant? Surprising. It sucks. Not surprising. No one pushes me. No one stares at me. As I pass by, children don't say "foreigner! HI!"

But home is good. This week I

-ate pumpkin shaped Reeses

-carved a jack-o-lantern

-watched the WORLD SERIES, stupid Cardinals, but still, American baseball is SO much better than Korean baseball.

-went to Wal Mart

-dried my clothes without using a drying rack

-went to the post office and did not have to use any explanatory gestures or a note written by my coworkers explaining what I needed

-ate apple cider donuts

-went to an apple orchard

-inhaled deliciously fresh air

-FALL COLORS! Perfection!

-ate sausage

-cuddled with my cats

-drove a car

Before coming home, I went to Istanbul for a few days. LOVE IT AND LOVE MY AWESOME HOSTESS. I am trying to post pictures on Facebook now, and I will post about it here sometime. Right now, I am not sans computer, so it makes all that stuff a bit hard.

Oh Korea, I want to eat kimchi jjigae, ride the subway, and walk around in blissful oblivion. But home is super sweet, and I am beyond excited for Thanksgiving. Bring on the turkey.

miracle food

In the past 17 months, anyone who has worked with me, talked to me, or read my blog knows that my immune system does not do Korea. New germs and 40+hours a week with kids, and I didn't stand a chance. No amount of hand washing could change that.

A few months ago, I realized I hadn't gotten sick in a while. I had started taking large doses of vitamin C, and Allegra pills when I would feel a new round of sickness coming on. And after a year of getting sick every 4-5 weeks, I know all of the signs. So when I woke up last week with a tiny itch in my throat, I knew what was coming. I went to the pharmacy to get Allegra, upped my vitamin C intake, and kept my fingers crossed. When I woke up yesterday, I knew I had lost this round. In addition to a terrible sore throat, my head hurt, my nose was runny, my chest hurt. I failed.

I had a lot of time to think yesterday, as I spent most of my day in bed drinking peppermint tea. I thought, how is this possible? I don't work with kids anymore. IT'S NOT FAIR. Then I realized, about the time I stopped getting sick every month was also the time I seriously increased the amount of kimchi I was eating.

Kimchi is to Korean food what baguettes are to French people, or nasty boiled things are to English people. I think it's kind of like meatloaf, in that there is a huge variety, and everyone's own mom makes it best (speaking of, Mom-I'm having dreams of your delicious meatloaf!) While there is much debate about the best kimchi, one thing that is for certain, this is a super food with super health benefits.

The last 7 months at work, I forced myself to eat several large pieces for lunch every day, despite the kitchen lady's kimchi being less than palatable. It's good for keeping one's weight in check. It's packed with vitamins and good bacteria. It prevents certain lady problems that I won't mention to keep my male readers from squirming uncomfortably. Some studies even say it prevents cancer.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, where I am living now has countless delicious restaurants, none of them serving Korean food. Since leaving work, my kimchi intake has drastically dropped. And I remembered another very important benefit of kimchi, it's awesome for the immune system. So now as I lay here, with yet another round of the Korean crud (and it's a bad one this time), I'm wishing I would have been more diligent about eating kimchi daily. Perhaps then I would not be spending my last 5 Korea days in bed, feeling like someone was sitting on my chest while hitting my head with a baseball bat.

Friends, eat your kimchi.

Is this what happened to the Sunnis and Shiites?

My stance on religion-live a good life, be compassionate, pray and don't judge. There are so many beliefs in the world, each one claiming to be the one true way to a happy afterlife. Many of them believe everyone else is damned. I don't think God (higher being, by whatever name) feels that way.

A few months ago I went to a movie. After it finished, we were walking among a crowd of fellow movie patrons across a plaza to find a cab, when a two Korean girls stopped us. Evangelism is rampant in Korea, and I could tell right away that we were about to get an earful about some religion. Evangelists annoy me. But unfortunately, I was with my boyfriend, whose mother was a Christian missionary, and he is very devout. I thought to myself please, just let them be from a similar Christian church. They can talk about how cool they think God is, high five, and we can be on our way.

They handed him a survey to fill out, asking him if he had ever heard of God the Mother.

Crap.

I scanned the premises, hoping to find a bench. This was going to take a while.

The Korean girls, members of the Church of God quoted Bible verses that supported their belief in God the Mother. My boyfriend responded back with Bible verses refuting their claims. I wished I would have gotten a smaller size movie soda or had hit up the bathroom on our way out. I also wished that people realized with certain issues, religion being first on that list, it's pointless to debate, because people will not change their minds, especially while arguing on the sidewalk following an evening showing of Cowboys & Aliens.

I finally pulled him away, and proceeded to remind him to be open minded and understanding to others' points of view. Especially because they are all Christians.

I kind of forgot about that incident, until today. I was walking down the sidewalk, doing a few errands, when I was stopped by two Korean women (who spoke zero English), and one guy who was...not Korean. But that's as much as I know. My brain to mouth filter was turned on, and my initial reaction of "ugh, leave me alone" was kept inside my head. They were more members of the Church of God. They have upgraded now, and rather than handing me a piece of paper with Bible verses about God the Mother, they handed me a little tablet computer thing and asked if I had time to watch a short movie.

Time? I'm unemployed. I've got nothing but time. I humored them. I watched. Then, trying to avoid talking at great lengths to them, I politely told them that I had already spoken with some other members of their church. They asked me what I thought about God the Mother. I told them it was something I had never heard of before then, and I thought it was a very interesting interpretation of the Bible. They asked me if I believed in it, or if they changed my mind. Still trying to be polite, I said that I did go home and read about it a bit. Only a minor lie, I actually went home and googled their church, thought "whoa, cult!"and then forgot about it when I clicked on a link on their wikipedia page (those darn blue words! they are the reason I can never finish reading anything on wikipedia). Then they again asked me what I thought about it. I said again that it was an interesting interpretation of the Bible, and told them my views on religion, and said even within the Christian church there are different beliefs, and that until we die, we will never know the truth. While reading their wikipedia page in August, I learned that this church believes the founder of their church, is/was (I think he died) the second coming of Christ, and his wife is God the Mother.

I forgot that tidbit. The guy kindly reminded me, when he said "Our church has seen the second coming of Christ. He told us we are right." Uh huh.

A few years ago, following a raid on their compound, I remember watching an interview with some of the Yearning for Zion wives. They dressed like Dr. Quinn, but it was the way they talked that really struck me. They were monotone and soft spoken. "We love our life. We want to live this way. Our husband is good to us. We have a good life" Nothing about their words seemed sincere. They were completely brainwashed. This guy's way of speaking was exactly the same.

He went on to say in his brainwashed/abducted by aliens voice that all the churches that worship on Sundays are doing it wrong, and that we should be worshiping on Saturdays. He also said that we were sinning for celebrating Easter and Christmas. He said God does not hear the messages from churches that worship on Sundays. I told him that God knows everything that happens all the time, even this conversation, which was happening on a Friday. Then he said that when (wait a second, I thought they had already seen the second coming) Christ comes back, he will set us all straight. So I told him that being concerned with the days of the week is for humans, and when God comes back, he will deal with the bigger problems of the world, not irrelevant details caused by different interpretations and translations of the Bible.

He opened up his Bible, and started pointing to random passages that he claimed proved the Sabbath is supposed to be on Saturday (not my point, my point was it doesn't matter to God what Sabbath day you keep!), and he told me it "wasn't an interpretation or a translation, this is God's original language" To which I said "Umm, your Bible is in English. The Bible was first written in Hebrew...or some language that WAS NOT ENGLISH. Clearly, you have a translation" THEN, it got really good when he started saying that Satan has been using the Roman Catholic Church as a vessel to do his work. And it was because of the RCC that churches started worshiping on Sundays, not Saturdays, and that was the work of the devil.

Really? That is Satan's master plan? "Ahhh, I've got it! This will really stick it to God!" Suddenly hell seems less scary.

He kept on saying that Satan works through the Catholic Church to this day. Finally, I had to interrupt him, and say that I am Catholic. And I reminded him that Catholics are also Christians. Then I started laughing. I feel slightly bad for laughing at his beliefs, but since he clearly had no problem being outright insulting to mine, I don't really feel that bad. He tried to once again open up his Bible and show me proof that the devil is using the Catholic Church to do his dirty deeds, but I just couldn't take it anymore. I once again interrupted him, and said "No more. We are done" and I walked away. It's really the only way you can end conversation with an evangelist.

Which brings me back to my original point, why does this church (and it's not the only one) find it necessary to stand on the sidewalk in the rain, and argue with someone (me) who shares the same principle beliefs? We are all Christian. And I'm not saying Christianity is the one true religion. We won't know the truth until we die. So until then, just be nice. Worship how (if) you see fit. Don't judge those who do it differently. Love people.

crystal ball!

I share with you, a look into my future!

Fall fall fall. It's making me want to bake, however my baking plans are usually foiled by a lack of available ingredients. I consider fall to be applesauce cake season. Make this, you won't be disappointed, especially if you frost it with this caramel frosting recipe invented by my mega talented/awesome mom.

Easy Apple Snack Cake

1 cup sugar

1/4 cup oatmeal

1 cup flour

1/4 cup oil

1/4 cup water

1 egg

3/4 cup applesauce

1/2 cup chopped raisins

1/4 cup chopped nuts

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

Heat oven to 350. Grease 8x8x2 pan. Measure all ingredients into large bowl. Beat on low speed for 1 minute. Stop and scrape bowl. Beat 2 1/2 minutes longer on high speed, scraping bowl 3 times. Pour batter into pan. Bake 50 minutes or until center springs back when pressed lightly with finger.

Frosting

Melt 2 tablespoons of butter. Add 1/4 cup of brown sugar. Bring to a boil, stir 1 minute on low boil. Cool slightly. Heat 1 tablespoon of milk and add to the brown sugar mix. Stir until smooth, and beat in enough powdered sugar to be spreadable.

Despite fall being apple baking season, I make this cake all year round. It's never not delicious. I've been wanting to make it for several months now, but applesauce is proving to be a most difficult ingredient to get here. So the other day, after getting nothing from four foreign food grocery stores, I decided to make apple bread instead. I don't have a grater, food processor, or even decent knife to chop the apples with. But, I do have my (victory!!) blender. So I put the apples in that. It pureed them rather that chopping. But, meh, the bread came out ok. The consistency was kind of sort of a little bit like applesauce. Perhaps a substitute? Or I could wait until I am home, two weeks from today...

Korea's been kicking me with awkward experience after awkward experience recently. I need a break and some 100% English. Does that even make sense? I don't really know. I don't speak much English anymore.

bar is low

I have those days when I feel like the words come so easily to me. That never happens in the precoffee part of the day. So please before proceeding, lower your expecations. I shouldn't really even be writing anything. But I am scared of losing my few yet faithful readers if I don't keep the words coming. Also, in an effort to save money, I recently switched to instant coffee. Barf, but way cheaper. And I kind of doubt how much caffeine that actually has in it, because it sure doesn't feel like much.

So today starts week two of unemployment. It is nice, kind of. I've always been an early riser. I love mornings. I love sunrises. I love the calm. I love that first sip of (noninstant) coffee. However, in my week of unemployment, I've already found myself sleeping until 10-10:30. I'm not sure what caused this change, and so quickly. However, I do know that next week when I return to school to fill in for a few days, waking up at 7:30 again will be rough.

Last year, I started volunteering with a big group here in Seoul. They have a few different opportunities to volunteer-soup kitchens, passing out food to homeless people in the train stations, working at an orphanage, and volunteer teaching. I worked at the orphanage a time or two, but I didn't find it overly satisfying. It's not actually an orphanage. All of the kids living there have at least one parent who is alive, though for whatever reason they can't take care of the kids anymore. But the families are still very much a part of the kids' lives, and many of them spend every weekend with their families. Plus, the kids were older, and really didn't seem to care much that we were there, and just really only wanted to watch tv. So mainly the volunteering I did was teaching on Saturdays at kind of a youth center type place. However, last month, the group sent out a message on FB, saying they were starting work at another orphanage, right here in Seoul (the other one was about two hours outside of Seoul). I thought ok, I'll try this one. It turned out to be a great experience, and I hope if I return to Korea next year, they are still volunteering there. There are about 50 kids at this orphanage. The youngest was 4 months old. They are all orphans, with no family. The kids were beyond excited to have contact with different people, and they were all starved for attention. It was really interesting to see the difference in behavior between the kids at the two orphanages. While it's clear the kids at the home two hours outside of Seoul don't have great family lives, they do at least have some family life. But the kids at the orphanage in Seoul have no family life. They spend the vast majority of their lives playing with other orphans, and it shows. They were wild. But they were so precious. Adoption inside Korea is not common, and I remember reading somewhere that because of the declining birth rate, as well as the possibility of an identity crisis or something, international adoptions are now pretty uncommon here as well. So these kids will most likely spend their entire childhood at this orphanage. Sad. But look at their sweet angel faces!

As I've said many times, I love Seoul. However, with over 10 million people living in the city itself, and another 15 (?) million people living in the surrounding areas, there are times it gets to be a bit much, and fresh air and a lower population density is needed. So last weekend I took a trip to Hyeri Art Village. I went to Hyeri in January, when it was so cold just the thought of getting out of the car to look around was enough to make a person cry. So last weekend was a nice change. It was a picture perfect fall day, minus the fall colorst. And it was a great escape from Seoul.

Bicycles for rent! Koreans ride bikes about as well as they drive. Look out.

No clue what they are advertising here...

Hyeri is full of random museums. My favorites are the kimchi pot museum, and this one, the musical instrument museum. Most of the artifacts in the museum are labeled with at least the country of origin. Sadly, this had nothing, so it was left to one's imagination. My guess is not Europe.

Here's another artifact from the musical instrument museum. As the tag says, this is a damar from Mongolia. Google "damar" to learn why you should always be nice to Mongolians.

I made a snuggle friend at Hyeri!

As I said before, the day trip to Hyeri was a perfect escape. Then, there are the times when the MUST GET AWAY FROM SEOUL AND ITS RESIDENTS plans backfire, because all 25 million people living here have the same idea. This was the case with last week's trip to Namiseom Island. Namiseom is a small island in the Han River (I think, if not that, than some other Korean sounding body of water) about an hour train ride outside of Seoul. The area was absolutely stunningly beautiful, at least I think it was. My view was more than slightly blocked by a sea of ajumma visors. Crowds of Koreans stress me out because pushing is as much a part of Korean culture as kimchi and plastic surgery. I try so hard not to take it personally, but having someone two hand push me is something I will never get used to. I was able to get a few pictures that weren't completely overrun with people.

My ipod camera doesn't do this justice. It was on the walk to Namiseom, so beautiful and calm.

It's hard to tell because there is nothing to compare it to in the picture, but this is the biggest spider I have ever seen. It was about the size of my palm. Eliza, this snap is for you! Enjoy!

The island had a strange alcohol bottle/can decoration theme. It was a cool kind of recycling, but seemed a bit out of place. Here are slightly melted soju bottles in glass. Welcome to nature, Korea style.

Ahhhhhh! This is actually very misleading. In order to properly represent the day, there needs to be old people pushing others out of their way, screaming children, and Korean girls wearing 4 inch heals, trying out 15 different poses while their purse holding boyfriends snap pictures of them. Oh Korea, I love you.

A new favorite Korean food! This is dak galbi, a specialty of the region. It is chicken, cabbage, rice cake, and sweet potato stir fried together with the magical Korean red pepper sauce that makes all Korean food taste slightly the same/burny/delicious. This is right after it was brought to our table, before it had really started cooking. I don't have an after picture because I was too busy eating. I don't understand why Korean food is not more popular in the US, because let me tell you, it is deeeeeeeeeeeeeeelicious! I'm not sure what I am going to do a week from Friday, when it is so brutally ripped from my life.

Speaking of, a week from Friday I am flying to Istanbul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh heck yes! I've dreamed of Istanbul since bachelorette Ali took her gang of suitors there on season 6 of The Bachelorette. Should I be ashamed of that? Nah. I'm awesome. More importantly, I get to be reunited with the person who got me through 15 months of France nonsense. No joke, sans Anya, I would have been back in Illinois probably in October of 2008. And I am so stoked!

The coolest!

WHAT...a whirlwind!

Chelsea Lately, anyone? Anyone?

But seriously, the last few weeks have floooooooown by. Suddenly it's October. I'm coming home in October. Whoa whoa whoa.

And just like that, I'm unemployed. Although, I guess my unemployment does not official start until tomorrow because today is a holiday of some sort. But I miss my kiddies already.

For those of you who happened to read my blog between the hours of 7 am and 7pm (Korea time) on Friday, you noticed I posted a blog about the debacle that was me moving out of my apartment. However, despite the fact I do stand by what I wrote, my school still owes me about $4,000, so I need to watch my mouth until that money is safely in my bank account. For any interested parties, I did save what I wrote and am happy to send it to you via email. :-)

But, I am now moved out of my apartment. I miss my little space. I miss my real shower. I miss the delicious Korean food in the 'hood. Itaewon is not known for having great Korean food. Also, there is no pizza school close by. Come on Itaewon, get it together. And now, this is my life. I have some sorting to do.

The last few weekends have been busy ones, which is good. I went to the wedding of a Nigerian and a Canadian last weekend. It was interesting. Obviously, the wedding took place in Korea, and neither of them are Korean, so there wasn't a lot of family there. The thing that stood out most, which I guess is a Nigerian tradition, is to shower the couple with money while they have their first dance. The dance lasted about 4 songs, and the ground was literally covered with money the entire time. Friends of the couple would collect it and put it in bags, then more people would come and start throwing money at them.

More things to say, but no motivation to write. I'll finish later. I have nothing but time on my hands now. I think this is going to get really boring really fast. Someone, please hire me.

job idea!

I've never exactly known what I want to do with my life. The test we were forced to take in 8th grade did not have a "marry rich" option on the scantron, so I feel like I've been left in state of "wellllllll?" ever since then. My plan the past couple years has been as follows-get by, see stuff. And I give myself an A+ for that, aside from the getting by part while in France. I still have a few loans to pay off, haha. BUT, I know that one cannot live that life forever, so the term "real job??? " has been bouncing around my head too much lately. Please notice the question markS. What kind of real job do I want? What kind of real job can I get it? I want enough money to pay for my cats' food, minimal stress, and the more bonuses, in the form of freebies, and discounts, the better. After realizing yesterday afternoon that my credit card number had been stolen, I have decided the amazon.com fraud department is the place to be, because clearly they spend their days having office wide Minesweeper competitions rather than doing any actual work. And I am sure they get a pretty sweet amazon discount. To apply, candidates must send in their best Minesweeper times for all three levels.

Story! Yesterday afternoon I noticed that my Amazon Chase credit card had been used for 20 purchases on amazon.com since September 8. Since 2006, on Amazon.com, the card has only ever been used for purchases sent to people with the last name of Morris, living within 120 miles of the Princeton address registered with the card. And it's maybe been used for 5 purchases a year. Currently, there is a travel notice taken out on the card, but I guess that is more for Chase, not Amazon, BUT STILL, amazon won't let my use the same password twice, and still recommends Joe Bonamassa CD's every time I log on because one time, like 3 years ago I bought one of his CD's as a gift for my madre. And they send me 3 form emails a week, chocked full of "recommendations" I don't care about. So Amazon, why? Why? WHY in your vast database of everything I've done on amazon, ever, do you not have on that saves credit card numbers? And THEN, send me a quick form email alerting me that someone has in fact opened an account with my card in Washington state. Perhaps it's a good idea to have the card owner verify this, before your employees think "yep, seems legit" and clicks approve. It was used more times in the past 10 days than it's been used in the past 3 years combined to an address I've never used. Good work Amazon!

I pointed all of this out to them yesterday in the email I sent them, when I referred to their fraud department as a joke. This is part of the email I got back from them "We discovered that an account was opened with a card used by you on another account. For your reference the card in question is a VISA which ends 2762"

NO NO NO NOOOOO AMAZON! NO! You discovered nothing. I discovered that. The only thing Amazon discovered was the email I sent them. Then did ol' "ahem...ummm....yeah...ahem we see here that..." NO AMAZON! I was the one who spent an entire phone card getting it taken care of. Don't give yourself credit for my work.

What a great job to have! But I'm not sure my life is ready for that level of futility yet, so perhaps another year of being an ESL teacher is order. Besides, I can't leave Asia without visiting the country that is so wicked cool that they can call their money the Dong.

partying partying yeah! Fun fun fun fun!

Get down, Kim Jong Il style.

This is the latest video making the rounds. I don't know why, but I think it's hilarious/genius.

Why is my font like this?

Hello, Fall

I would write about the changing seasons once again, but I can't. I'm too busy welcoming the new season with an apple crisp dinner. I need to get baking. And since I am lacking a good knife to cut apples with, the cutting/peeling peeling process takes me way longer than it should.

Today I agreed to work 2 extra days next week. I should have double checked to make sure I was getting paid before I said yes. They are undeserving of charity.

As a going away present, my school scheduled an open class for my last week of work. Couldn't I get a tea set or a hanbok like the other schools in Korea?

Holiday! Celebrate!

It's Saturday, day 1 of a 4 day weekend for the Chuseok holiday. Chuseok is Korean for Thanksgiving. Its roots date back to the 17th century, when pilgrims from China celebrated their first successful harvest by having a giant feast with the native Koreans, who helped the Chinese adapt to their new land and survive the harsh Korean winter. Today, the holiday is spent with family, watching football games and the Lotte Chuseok Day Parade before enjoying a delicious meal of turkey and pumpkin pie.

I may have embellished that a bit. But, it IS a 4 day weekend for the Chuseok holiday, and Korean winters really do suck.

To celebrate all the kids wore their hanboks (or humbok, as some people call them) and we made songpyeon with the kids. It was the same thing we did last year, only this year I was smart enough to not eat any songpyeon, despite the vivid inviting colors. In order to think that is good/food, you have to grow up eating it. I had a stomachache for two days after eating it last year. The kids sure think it's a big treat though. Here are some pictures of my kinderhearts in their hanboks.

Earth class boys!

Earth class with the director of the school

Su Hyeok

Sun Woo

Seung Hoon

Hyun Seo

Ji Min

This is Min Seo. She is a cute kid. It's impossible for kids in glasses to not be cute. This is not the best picture of her, however I just like Sun Woo in the background, getting ready to punch Jun Woo. She is always the charmer!

Min Sol! She is so sweet that one picture is not enough for her.

Jun Woo

And my little Hyun June. He deserves more than one picture as well.

Now here is a video of the kids singing a song. It has nothing to do with Chuseok, but it is an Earth class favorite.

40 days from today I am leaving Seoul. 40 short days. I have 11 days left at work . 11 even shorter days. 11 more circle times. 11 more before school speech times. 11 more walks to school. 11 more kimbap shop lunches where people talk obnoxiously/purposely loud about the restaurants they go to after Korean class-A little louder please! I'm not sure Kim Jong Il heard you up there in Pyongyang.

As much as I don't like crying so hard during Dateline that I have to turn it off, I enjoy (not the right word, I don't enjoy them, but my English is gone. I think I only know about 300 words now, so for lack of anything better, enjoy) all the tributes and specials being done to observe the 10 year anniversary of that day that no American will ever forget. I'm proud of my country and I'm proud of my compatriots. Even though I swear them off every time I go to Itaewon, I really do have nothing but gratitude for those in our military. Once I have my own house with a porch and also once I learn the proper flag etiquette, I fully intend on displaying an American flag with pride. I'm proud to call myself an American. America, I love you and I'll see you soon!

Meet Earth Class, Hyun June edition

This is Hyun June. I know it sounds bad to say that I have favorites. But I do. And I have a big huge giant soft spot in my heart for this little guy. He is the weakest student in my class of mini geniuses, and his classwork is usually the reason I go through so many red markers. In addition to his less than stellar academic performance, his behavior is not the best either. He is a chronic nose picker, and can't seem to stay in his seat no matter how many "good behavior" stickers I promise. He has an ashamed/angry face like none other. BUT, he is one of the sweetest, most affectionate kids I've ever met. His hyper behavior is really just trying to get attention. I think he sees it as a way to get noticed, since most of the other students in the class are so smart. During parent teacher conferences a few months ago, his mom started crying because she was worried about him. She said he desperately wants his dad's approval and praise, but his dad is very hard on him, with nothing he does ever being good enough. I'll wait for a minute, and let that break your heart a bit. The few times I've met his mom, she has asked me to please give Hyun June lots of love and praise. It is hard not to give a student lots of praise when he gives me work like this

marchin

I am cool. The doubters need to look no further than my collection of Dr. Quinn DVDs. I know cool. I'm a cool expert. Fact-there is nothing cooler than a marching band. And I am being 100% serious. I LIVE for marching bands, which is kind of funny given my lack of natural musical talent, as well as my lack of desire to practice. But my best memories of high school were all from marching band. Now, 11 years since I last donned my PHS Marching Tigers uniform, I still geek out hard core when I see a marching band.

The rainy season seems to finally have left us (fingers crossed), and the gray and UUGGHHH have been replaced with impossibly gorgeous blue skies and AHHHH (that's a content sigh, not a scream). The past couple days have been absolutely perfect. The kind of days where you walk outside and feel nothing-not hot, not cold, not humid. Perfection. In an effort to take advantage of this glorious WEEKEND weather, on Saturday I headed out to Han River Park. There were no real plans for the afternoon, aside from enjoying the beautiful weather. We had not been there more then a few minutes when a girl approached us and handed us a flyer for the International Wind Instrument Festival. Oh heck yes! The rest of the afternoon/evening was spent enjoying the free performances given by a variety of groups, as well as a bike ride along the Han River. Saturday success. Here are some pictures.

Waiting to perform! I think they were Chinese. They weren't Korean.

Band uniforms everywhere! I dig it!

Showtime!

I expect nothing less in Korea.

A slightly more traditional Korean drum

Here is a video of their performance. Much like the video I took of the traditional Chinese drummers in Beijing, this does not do it justice. It was ten kinds of awesome.

My favorite performance of the day was the Korean military drill team. Whoa whoa WHOA. I didn't get the good stuff on video because I was too busy watching them. These guys had moves. The South Shore Drill Team has nothing on them. And I am not in any way making fun of them, I think it's a fantastic organization and obviously the Korean military has more money at their disposal, BUT I kind of chuckle at the idea of those kids from the south side getting schooled by a bunch of Asians. Except that I don't think the South Shore Drill Team would ever perform to the theme from the Pirates of the Caribbean.

And, as long as I am on the subject of marching band, here is one from the archives! From fall of 1999.

And as long as I'm in the archives, here is an even older one. This is from the days when my motto was "Who needs to shower when I've got baby powder scented Teen Spirit?" and the only time my hair was ever fixed was after I left the salon.

But I'm getting off track. This past weekend was one of the best I've had in Korea. In addition to Saturday, it also included good food/company enjoyed outside on a picture perfect Friday night, and a trip to Taco Bell and claw machine success on Sunday.

What more could a girl want? Besides this (just a typical advertisement at a subway station)

I love you, Korea.