la escuela

My life right now consists of subbing and eating as many holiday flavored (peppermint, eggnog, gingerbread, pumpkin, etc) treats as I can find.

An interesting part of any substitute teacher's life is the never knowing the night before what the next day will bring. A day off or work? Each morning I wake up about 6:30, and wait for the phone to ring. By about 7:15, when the phone has remained silent, I prepare myself for a day off and ponder all the important questions that go along with it-do I wear the flannel or the fleece pj pants? What do I want to eat for breakfast? Should I make pancakes? Will I actually shower today? Should I take my nap on the sofa or in my bed?

So this morning, 7:15 came and went, and I started dreaming of pancakes covered in apple butter. I envisioned a quiet morning spent sipping coffee (with eggnog flavored cream!) while working on my current puzzle. Ahhhh...a day off...7:43-RIIINNNGGGG! What? Most of the area schools start at 8, but yet even before I looked at the caller ID, I knew my breakfast would be yogurt and my coffee intake would be limited to one cup that I drank while drying my hair, and then would spend the rest of the morning regretting the coffee as I wait impatiently for a chance to visit the ladies' room.

Conversation:

Me:Hello?

Secretary: Laura? This is Rita from DePue School. Are you able to sub today?

Me: Uhhhh...well, does your school start at 8?

Rita: No...actually it starts at 7:45.

Me: ............I'm in my pajamas.

Rita: Well, if you can come anytime after you get ready, that is ok.

Me: Ok.

Rita : You will be teaching ESL.

Me: ..............I don't speak any Spanish. Is that ok?

Rita: It's fine. You're just babysitting anyway.

Me: Ok, see you in an hour.

So my day off was not to be, but I like money more than coffee and puzzles anyway. Now, DePue...for those of you who were not blessed enough to be born and raised in the Illinois Valley, allow me to enlighten you.

Close your eyes if you will, and imagine a small village in Mexico, with a population of slightly less than 2000 people. Now, delete from your mind the image of a quaint Mexican village, full of carts serving to die for guacamole and Mariachi bands roaming the streets. And instead, imagine a trashy village in Mexico, where yards have no grass, but rather every square inch is covered up with plastic decor, no Mariachi bands are to be found but could not be heard anyway due to the mufflerless cars filling the streets, and the "pristine" lake on the town's edge is super polluted with metals, a gift to Mama Nature from a chemical plant that was (is?) located nearby, which also makes the town always smell like farts. The school mascot is the Little Giant. I think that is a reference the stunted growth of the citizens of DePue, due to all the exposure to chemicals they have. Add a few white people, just enough to give each class in school one or two white kids, Now, imagine that village being transported to the Illinois Valley, a few short miles from chez Morris. Charmed?

Side note-DePue is also where Eliza and I waited out the tornado that hit two summers ago, we passed the time filming videos of ourselves, in case we didn't make it.

So, I went to DePue today. The teacher was having some sort of problems, and did not realize until late this morning that she was not going to school today, hence my phone call two minutes before their school day started. Her "lesson plans" were scribbled onto an index card, all 8 classes she taught...on one index card, very thorough. Most said things like 7th-worksheet, in bk. ???? Huh. Ok. What worksheet in what book? No books were labeled. No books were even to be found for that matter. There was just a messy stack of worksheets on her desk.

So I gave classes various worksheets, probably the wrong ones, until I ran out of sheets, around the 5th period, after which I simply said "You get study hall today, one at a time you can go to your locker. If you don't listen to what I say, you are going directly to the principal's office. This is your only warning" It worked nicely for me. And hopefully next time this teacher is absent because she "just doesn't have any energy!" she will at least have the energy to leave me more than an index card of lesson plans.

Why isn't there a delicious Mexican restaurant in DePue? There are two grocery stores, both of which are Mexican groceries. If I don't work tomorrow, I may return to DePue, in search of Mexican restaurant style tortilla chips. Big plans.

Eggnog me!

I've been a lean mean subbing machine lately. More emphasis on the mean subbing machine part of that, and less on the lean. But I've decided to bite the bullet, and join the gym tomorrow. I've managed to avoid it for a few years now, thanks to a decent walk to work in Korea, and biking everywhere in France. However, with the weather getting cold, the idea of running is becoming more and more daunting. I know hard core runners would tell me to suck it up, to which I would tell them to simply suck it. I don't do cold. When it comes down to it, I don't especially love running. I just like guilt free dessert, and running is the easiest/cheapest exercise. So, in an effort to eat my way through December with minimal guilt, tomorrow for the first time in 2 1/2 years, you can find me at the Bureau County Metro Center. Barf.

Happy Happy Turkey Day!

The last Thanksgiving I celebrated at home was 2007. So needless to say, I was so super stoked for Thursday. I would be lying if I said it wasn't a major reason I came home. And despite having a migraine on Wednesday and a lingering upset stomach Thursday morning, everything was delicious! I love Thanksgiving!!!!!!

My last box of stuff I shipped from Korea arrived yesterday. I am now reunited with all my stuff. Shipping via boat is awesome, and the US should offer that option. It takes about 5 weeks, but the cost is minimal. The most I paid for a box was about $30, and these were BIG boxes, full of heavy things like books, purses, boots, coats, etc. But it's been weird to open my boxes. Everything still smells like my apartment in Seoul. It makes me homesick for Seoul and the tiny bit of space that was entirely mine. I miss my little apartment. The piece de resistance (yes, I know that is supposed to have accents, but I have issues with including accents when typing on an English keyboard, just unnecessary and slightly pretentious) was my SLP 2010 DVD, which immediately upon receiving I forced my mom to watch. She was a good sport and watched a lot of it. Others who see me in the next couple months should expect the same. Bring a comfy seat and some popcorn!

I've been subbing a decent amount since I got my name on the sub list. This past week I subbed in a kindergarten class and a junior high special ed class. It's been ok. I honestly liked the 4th grade the best, I think. The kindergartners were cute, but there was one boy in the class who ruined it. That is a topic for a whole different blog post, so I will not get into that now.

game face-ON

The next two days I will be subbing in a 4th grade class. My authorization from the Regional Office of Education says "Secondary" My legit teaching certificate is secondary (grades 6-12), but I didn't even know there were those options on a substitute certificate. Ummm? I didn't mention that bit to the woman who called me, because aside from my 3 "substitute" days at SLP last month, I've not worked since the end of September. I NEED TO WORK!

I'm not too concerned about that. Despite no longer being able to play the foreigner card, I'm quickly remembering that ignorance is universal, and should this be an issue, I'll just do my best "What? I don't understand" act.

My real concern is 4th grade. 4th grade???? EEEEEEK! Maybe I should have at least rewet my subbing feet with 8th or 9th grade, the classes I am used to subbing for.

Fingers crossed.

team change

Thanks for reading this. I will write more frequently when I have things to write about, but in my current state of unemployment, it is difficult to find the subject matter. Anywho, I'm not abandoning "I'm Not Home" simply because I am.

I made an interesting realization the other day. All my life, I've always thought of Europe as kind of a perfect place. The buildings are beautiful. The food is flavorful. The people are sophisticated and stylish. I spent the last year and a half dreaming of my return. Turkey definitely has that European feel to it, but what I realized while I was there is that I am now an Asia girl. When I think about my top places to visit list, Germany, Italy and Greece no longer make the cut. I want Mongolia, Vietnam, Japan, Taiwan, Bali, and India. Asia is big, cheap (minus Japan), busy, and exciting. The food is awesome and sometimes a bit scary. The fashion has way more creativity than that in Europe, and costs a whole lost less. And, I know I've said it once and I'll keep saying it because I can't stress how true it is-the subway is Seoul is AWESOME. 90 cents a ride, pristine, and easy to use.

Despite being led to Korea under false pretense ("Laura, you'll love it!" was code for "Please go to Korea, because I get $300 if you do"), I really did love it. I miss it. And I can't stop thinking about how delicious and warming a bubbling hot bowl of kimchi jjigae would be on this dreary and rainy fall day.

I have been trying to put some pics from Istanbul on here, but blogger has other plans. So that probably won't happen.

But here's some good advice-add "go to Asia" on your bucket list. You won't regret it.