Allow me to tempt you

Sometimes it seems as though I don't write here much anymore, but rather just post links to videos and articles showing how awesome Korea is.
I can't help it. Korea is that awesome. When I made the choice to go there, two years ago next month, it was purely for financial reasons. I didn't know much about it, but when one has $20 to her name, ignorance is not a reason to turn down a job. So I went, and it blew my mind. Most people I talk to are like I was, with little knowledge or real desire to visit there.

My mom visited, and loved it. And she is lady of impeccable taste. Trust her judgement. However, if you need more persuading, read this.

http://www.cnngo.com/seoul/visit/50-beautiful-places-visit-korea-873093?page=0,0

I've only been to a handful of the places on that list, so clearly I have no choice but to go back. So, I'm once putting my open invite out there. I'll most likely be there from late March on, SO COME AND VISIT. There's delicious cheap food, the cutest kids you've ever seen, interesting locals, noraebangs, shopping, more shopping, stunningly beautiful landscapes, easy to use 90 cents a ride public transportation, and of course the best part-me as your super duper tour guide.

Geriatricish

1982 + 30 = 2012.

Yes, that's right, I have a milestone birthday coming this year. Whoa. 30. Whoa. 30 is way too, just...whoa. I'm sure come June 20th, I won't feel any different than I do today (And yes, I realize my birthday is the 19th, but I always feel different on my birthday, so it doesn't count). But now, nearly 5 months to the day before I turn 30, it seems huge. Really though, I'm not one of those people who dreads getting older.

While in Korea, one of my coworkers spotted a gray hair on the head of another coworker. The coworker with the gray hair went crazy, and had a reaction similar to that of a patient getting bad news from the doctor "WHAT? WHAT? THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE! I'M TOO YOUNG! GET RID OF IT! I NEED TO FIX THIS! AHHHHHH" I'm sitting here rolling my eyes remembering that afternoon, and how I wished my desk drawer was big enough to slam my head into. I have a lot of gray hairs, AND my hair is still awesome. NBD.

Aside from my many gray hairs, another reason I am okay with aging is because I already share many traits with senior citizens. I think it will be a smooth transition for me. I look forward every day to watching Wheel of Fortune. I think Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman is the greatest TV show ever made. I despise being cold, and dream of the day I can move to Florida. I like to be in bed by 9:30 at night, and am happy if I can sleep later than 6 AM. Cell phones confuse me, except for my Tracfone. I'm an excellent baker. I like baths more than showers. I always drive under the speed limit, and I hate driving at night or when it's snowing. I have bad hearing. I love jigsaw puzzles and board games.

My saving grace, my reminder that I am still in my twenties is the fact that I've never had a senior moment, until today.

I got home this afternoon, and parked my car in front of the garage, like I always do. Ten minutes later, I looked outside at the driveway, saw my own car parked there, and thought to myself "Oh, who's here?"

In my defense, I haven't had the car THAT long, only since November after having various Grand Ams for 8 years, but still...

a letter! eh?

Dear Canada,

Do you have room for one more? Thank you.

Sincerely,

Laura

I've always been a proud American. When traveling, I've never told anyone I was Canadian, even when American hating was the in vogue thing to do (2000-2008). I've always considered myself so fortunate to be born here. I always defended my country when people started smack talking.

That stops...now. One small dealing with the government, turned into a major issue, and my I LOVE AMERICA bubble has completely popped.

Where to begin? Problem 1-too many separate state governments. Let's get together, yeah yeah yeah, why don't you and I combine?? Let's get together, what do you say? We can have a swinging time! I watched both Parent Trap movies back to back last weekend. This song seems to fit this situation. That song fits every situation. Classic.

I can commit a heinous crime in Illinois, move on over to Indiana, and BOOM, clean record. I can commit my heinous crime in Indiana, move on over to Ohio, and BOOM AGAIN, clean record. Does that make sense? Nope, of course not. Especially in this age of everything being on computers, can't Illinois send my crime record to Indiana? That way, when I apply for a copy of my background check from Indiana, the bomb threats and prostitution rings that I set up in Illinois will show up. It just makes too much sense, so of course that doesn't happen. Korea finally picked up on this, and now requires E2 visa applicants from the US to submit an FBI background check, rather than a state police check. And the funny thing is that there is some law that the states don't have to submit things to the federal gov't, or something like that. But, it looks better on the surface and that is the story of Korea.

An FBI background check takes 3-4 months. And why shouldn't it? After a sketch artist draws my fingerprints, I have to take the stage coach to the nearest Pony Express station. 10 days later, it arrives on the east coast, where a specially trained agent in the criminal justice department closely compares my fingerprints with every set of prints they have in their files. They do this with a magnifying glass and an oil lamp turned on high. After physically comparing my prints with the prints of thousands of other prints from felons and wanted men, they send a telegraph to a printing press. "FBI Background Check -(STOP)- Laura Morris clean record -(stop)- CJIS"

But seriously, is this what my tax dollars go towards? (UN) Funny side note-Even though the majority of the income I've earned since 2008 has been outside of the USA, I STILL AM responsible for taxes. Beurk.

Anyway, 3-4 months to get a background check on someone who doesn't even have so much as a speeding ticket on her record? I'm sure it can be reprinted with the click of a mouse.

For real though, back in October, I mailed in my fingerprints. I received my background check on December 17th. Then, I had to mail it back to DC for an apostille. Why couldn't the CJIS just mail it to the authentifactions office themselves? Too many questions.

So I mailed it back to DC on December 30th. It never arrived. It's lost in the mail, or something. Gone.

Begin panic mode. I talked to the post master. She was kind, but unhelpful. I talked to my cousin who is in the FBI. No help. I called the CJIS, twice, not helpful nor kind, even after explaining my situation. AND considering one government office lost my documents, it would be nice if another government office stepped up and said "Oh, sorry. That's our bad, let me fix that for you" But why should the do that? It's like going to a restaurant, and the cook makes you the wrong food, and the waitress just shrugs her shoulders.

So my last hope are the US senators. Why? Why is it Mark Kirk's office can get an expedited copy of my background check, but I can't get a copy of MY OWN background check? Why the need for the middle man, America, why?

The folks at Mark Kirk's office have been a pleasure to deal with, but they told me best case scenario would be a few weeks. I had to resubmit my fingerprints, express mail them to the FBI, and Senator Kirk's office was able to call the FBI office, and put an expedite order on it.

So that's where I'm at now. Chances are, even with the expedited background check, I will not make my end of February deadline for being back in Korea. So I will lose this job that I really wanted. My job hunt begins again.

I will be around here for a while longer, so if anyone needs me to house sit, pet sit, baby sit, entertain you with my amazing wit and conversation skills, bake you the best cookies you've ever eaten, watch me pass the original Wolfenstein in record time, etc, let me know. I've got nothing but time.

And on second thought, maybe I won't move to Canada. There is too much winter there and their only baseball team is in the American League. Perhaps Mexico...

If only DQ wasn't closed for the season

Christmas is over. Christmas was green. Ho hum. My wish for cold, snowy days is gone until next December. Today, January 6, 2012, I sat out on the deck and ate ice cream. It's currently 56 degrees. 56 DEGREES!!! Oh heck yes. This feels heavenly.

When I was home for Christmas in 2008, I remember thinking Al Gore and the Green Peacers were clearly off their gourd. The air temperature was something like -16, with wind chill temperatures around -45, or something dumb like that. Global warming what now? But this winter as snow shovels and ice scrapers lay unused, and my car doors have not frozen shut yet, I can't help but think this just doesn't quite feel right. It's very unJanuarylike, and great. So despite the damage being done to our beautiful planet, I would like to extend my sincerest gratitude to the gas guzzling car drivers, rice paddy farmers, Aqua Net hairspray users, and whatever/whoever else is causing this beautiful January day. I'm sure winter will return soon, so the ice scraper will stay in the backseat of my car, but it's nice while it lasts.

This is the latest video making the Facebook rounds among the English teachers in Korea crowd. You can't get stuff like this in the US. Pure gold.

Arways be true...

Am I in too deep?

First and most importantly, I want to wish everyone HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope your 2012 is full of adventures, smiles, delicious food, happiness, baby animals, and W flags flying at Wrigley.

I admit, I am a complete sucker for time lapse videos, as evidenced by the relatively large amount that I post on here. But I came across this video, and I'm completely in love with it.

I've only just started reading his blog, which you can find a link to on the Youtube description of this video, but it is incredible. He is my hero. In my delusional mind, I like to think that he and I are the same, we both quit our jobs to see the world. However, he left a job as a financial strategist, I left a job serving alcohol to creepy old men while pretending to be interested in their stories so that I could maybe make more than $25 a shift. Needless to say, he took a much bigger risk than I did.

But if you have a minute, watch this video and check out his blog. It's very inspirational. Even if traveling is not your thing, it's a good reminder to take some time in life to do something you love.