EVCO

My mom is awesome for many reasons. One of those reasons is that she taught my siblings and me how to eat healthy. Growing up, we never had white bread or store bought treats, we rarely ate pasta, the only time we ever got sweet cereal was once a year for our birthdays, we ate garden vegetables all summer long, and the soda that was in the house was only for company. As a result of that, Aaron, Eliza and I are all pretty health conscious. However, as long as I can remember I've had a huge sweet tooth. I love sugar. Some days the cravings are worse than others, and it's definitely gotten better in the past few years, but even so, rarely can I ever pass up a cookie. So whenever I see any articles about beating sugar cravings, I have to read them. Mostly they all say the same thing "Give into the craving, have just a small bit of chocolate." I've tried that approach, all that does is make me think about how good a small bit of chocolate is, and how much I'd like to eat some more. A few months ago, I came across an article saying that a spoonful of coconut oil helps to cut sugar cravings. It gave an explanation why, but I don't remember it. My mom has kept coconut oil in the house for a very long time, way before it became trendy. I thought about trying that but I could never get on board with the idea of eating a spoonful of plain oil. Every morning for a breakfast, I make a kale/spinach smoothie. I like going into lunch knowing I've already had a big serving of vegetables. A few weeks ago, I decided to try putting a small spoonful of coconut oil into my smoothie. It blended right up and didn't change the taste at all. So I'll admit, the smoothie isn't as satisfying as a stack of pancakes and a side of sausage, but it's a great start to the day and I'm addicted to it. The only problem is that sometimes I'm hungry before lunch. So the first morning I tried the coconut oil, I realized noon had come and gone and I'd not thought about food or snacking. I've continued putting a little coconut oil into my smoothie each morning and it's really helped the sugar cravings. It's got a lot of other interesting uses (I love the internet). I've started putting it in my hair once a week, but it takes a few months before that's supposed to make a difference, so we'll see. I've been putting a little under my eyes as well, and I swear the dark circles have gotten better. So far, I'm a fan. 

I have a place to live! It's scary cheap, so hopefully I'll figure out sooner rather than later why this apartment has such a low price tag. But, I get the key August 1st. I'm also registered for my fall classes, which start at the end of August. I have a lot to do in the meantime for school, but at least I'm registered. Now, I need a job. 

It's been over a week since my sort of falling out with the Turk. I've reached out to him 3 times, asking if we can talk to clear the air. I hate leaving things unresolved. And I've been ignored 3 times. Ouch. I've mentioned a few times on here about the "friends" I made in Korea. Up until then, I always thought most adults preferred to hash things out. I thought most adults would be willing to have a slightly awkward conversation, if it meant resolving an issue, getting rid of hard feelings, etc. After I had a falling out with those friends in Korea, I tried to talk things over with two of them. It never happened. So instead we spent our last months in Korea as coworkers, rather than friends. It made the atmosphere at work unbearable and horribly awkward. I realized in the years since then, that for many people that is the norm. Unfortunately, technology doesn't help that any. It's easy to ignore an email or text. It's easy to ignore a phone call from someone when you always know who is calling. It's extremely frustrating how many people are so unwilling to have a slightly tough conversation, and would prefer to just say "well, I guess I'm done with them." Cowardly. 

I have to go to work now. I'm not going to spell check or proofread this. 

Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly Humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear...Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

Once again, that subject is a lie. But since I have that song in my head at least once a week, I went with it again.

One month ago, I titled my last post "edited" because obviously, I edited it. In the pre-edited version, I talked about the Turkish guy I'd started dating. Shortly after I wrote that, he friended me on Facebook. While I'm pretty careful about who can see the link to here on my Facebook, I thought, "I'dddddddd best get rid of what I wrote..." just in case I missed something somewhere. My cyberstalking skillz are top notch, therefore I'm fairly confident in my ability to cover my own tracks, to make my social networking as ungoogeable and private as possible. But, especially in the earlier days of this blog, I did post it on Facebook a time or two. I thought just to avoid awkwardness, I'd delete it. I wish I would have saved it somewhere, but I didn't. So here's the rundown.
A month and a half ago, I met the Turkish guy for lunch in Peoria. When I first saw him, my thought was "aww hell no!" But, we'd been talking for a few weeks before meeting and he seemed nice, so I decided to not get back in my car and drive away. During our afternoon together, I realized he was a mega dork. When I made a comment about how clean he kept his car, his response was some physics equation that I don't remember. I left the date, still not sure if I wanted to see him again. After our first date, he was relentless, messaging every day, asking if I'd go to St. Louis, Nashville, Milwaukee, etc with him, talking about visiting me in Chicago after I move, saying once I finished school I could start paying for things but until then I had to let him pay, saying he deleted his OkCupid profile after meeting me, saying he didn't want to go out "without his Laura", calling me beautiful, and so on. At first, I was mildly annoyed by how persistent he was. But, it's hard to not be flattered by that kind of attention and I started having more feelings for him.

A few weeks ago he asked if I'd go to St. Louis with him the weekend of July 11th. He had a huge presentation at work on July 8th, something he'd been working on for two years, and he wanted to celebrate that weekend. I hate taking work off on the weekends, but I haven't much recently and since I was really starting to like him, I agreed. Shortly after that, I started to notice a change. He didn't text me as much, and when he did they were shorter. We didn't go back and forth all afternoon and evening like we had at first. But, when I'd see him in person, things seemed fine. I tried to silence the voices in my head, telling myself that I probably wasn't hearing as much from him because he was really busy preparing for this presentation. The last time I went out with him was around the third week in June, and soon after I started a two week house/dog sitting job, and didn't have time to drive to Peoria. Because he was so busy with work, he didn't have time to drive up here. On that date, things seemed fine, but then immediately after I got home, he stopped initiating conversation. He'd respond when I would, though his responses were shorter and the flattery stopped. So last weekend, after a few days of silence, I sent him a message and asked the reason for the silence, if there was a problem, etc. He assured me there was no problem. I suggested maybe we just take a step back from things to give him a chance to focus on work. He said no, he didn't want to, I was not a bother, he wanted to see me, etc. However, after that conversation, the silence continued. He left a day or two later for a road trip with his boss (weird). More silence. Finally, I messaged him on the last day of his road trip last week. He seemed fine and told me how excited he was for our trip to St. Louis this weekend. More silence. Our plan for the weekend was for me to go to Peoria Thursday (today) night, and we'd leave early on Friday. He hadn't mentioned our trip since last week, when he told me he was excited for it. So yesterday I cracked and sent him a message, asking if he still wanted to go.

Here's our exchange:

Huh...okay then. Obviously there are some unanswered questions and any of you who read my other blog know how I feel about unanswered questions. Why didn't he tell me this the weekend before, when I suggested taking step back from things? Was he trying to make it so I couldn't work this weekend? FYI-To miss a weekend of work costs me around $350. That's a big big deal. He was SO into this the first few weeks, I don't buy his response of  "I'm only looking for something casual." We weren't a couple. We weren't serious. This wasn't a relationship. However, I feel because he cost me a weekend of work, that I am owed a conversation, if nothing else. I am owed my answers, or at least the chance for me to order the spiciest Bloody Mary I can find, dump loads of Tabasco in it, and throw it in his face. I'm a classy lady who always takes the high road. 

Speaking of high road, what better way to make oneself feel okay after being rejected than making a list of the rejecter's flaws? I shall do that now. I knew all along that this wouldn't amount to a whole lot. 

The reasons why this wasn't going anywhere, aka his flaws list

1. The biggest issue, which he alluded to in our text exchange, was his view on homosexuality. Kingsley's opinion was "That's a big big sin. We must pray to change the gays. If we pray hard enough, they will become straight" (Actual words, I can't make this stuff up). My views of homosexuality are kind of nonexistent because it's not my concern. I like boys, but if one morning and wake up with the urge to start dating a female, I'll do just that and no one else really needs to have an opinion because it's no one else's business. A person's sexual orientation has less than zero effect (affect? WHY AM I SO CONFUSED BY THOSE TWO STUPID WORDS?) on me, aside from sexuality of the hot guys I see, and they're usually gay anyway. The Turk's view on homosexuality is only slightly less offensive than Kingsley's. He and I started in on this topic after I went to the wedding of a gay friend. He asked to see pictures. When he saw it was two men, his reaction was a mix of shock, horror, and a twinge of doing his best to hide disgust. Then we started talking about it, and he said he thinks gays only want to be married to get money from the government, gay marriages are shams with no real feeling between the two people, gays shouldn't be allowed to be married, etc. I bite my tongue pretty hard when it comes to talking with people from other countries about things like sexuality. And I'm not talking about countries like the UK or Canada. Turkey is modern, but still has some super old school values. So I politely listened to what he had to say, then stated my own opinion that it makes no difference to me if two (or more, whatever) consenting adults want to get married. He of course disagreed and this discussion went on for probably longer than it should have. We agreed to disagree, and went on about our day. I didn't realize it was that much of an issue for him until I got yesterday's text. Connard. 

2. He's not an animal person. 

3. Istanbul is in both Europe and Asia. He must have taken driving lessons on the Asian side of the city. 

4. He loves renaissance fairs.

5. He is hairy

6. He talks too much about money, specifically how much he earned. Seriously, I shouldn't know after two months how much a person is making. 

7. He wears Axe Body Spray.

8. He doesn't have a trash can in his kitchen, but rather keeps a trash bag in the left side of the sink. When it filled up there, he'd take it out. Freak. 

9. He is obsessed with tinted car windows, and kept telling me he knew a Turk in Chicago that could do my car. Ummm...no.

10. He didn't get me a birthday present.

11. He wears jeans that are way too tight.

12. He has a rug in his bathroom. Normal enough, lots of people do. However, his rug is adoring the back of his toilet. Doesn't go there, buddy. 

13. He told me that I should be looking at apartments in Naperville, rather than the city of Chicago. 

14. He had two Facebook accounts. One, I know was his real one, where he was friends with his mom, sister, and other Turkish people. On the other account, he went by the name "Eugene Erg" and he deleted that account shortly after he friended me with it. I pretended to not know anything about the real account, and he lied to me, saying he was no longer on Facebook, when I questioned him about deleting the one he friended me with. 

15. His favorite restaurant is a local Peoria version of Benihana. 

16. He liked some dumb car show on basic cable. I can't remember the name of it, but it's just three guys messing around doing dumb car things. And I hated watching it. 

17. He left me alone for 3 hours the night when we were supposed to be celebrating my birthday, because he had to go meet with his boss. 

18. He said inappropriate things to servers, such as when she says "Careful, that plate is hot" his response would be "So are you!" 

That's all I can think of now. I'm sure I can come up with plenty more, but it's perfect outside and I want to go run.