The French are an interesting bunch, to say the least. In the past year and a half, I’ve become so accustomed to their quirks, that they seem normal now. I know to say “bonjour” when entering a store, and “merci, au revoir” when leaving. I’m constantly scanning the sidewalk ahead of me, looking for piles of dog poo. When French women give me their judging stare, I stare back. When I do get a drink with ice, it is never more than two cubes. There is no such thing as an endless cup of coffee here. “On time” means up to half an hour past the appointed time. There is no such thing as a quick line at the grocery store, and the average time spent at an ATM is 5 minutes. They will always correct my bad French, sometimes in even worse English. I never even try to pay with anything over a 20. I always look for the exact change and am prepared to accept an eye roll and an exasperated sigh when I say that I don’t have it. I don’t hate these things about France. Most times, I just shrug them off with an oh, so French “PFFFFF!”
HOWEVER, there is one quirk of the French that still drives me absolutely up the wall. And maybe I am just feeling particularly annoyed with it right now, because the weather is nice, and more people are out and about. But, French people are entirely incapable of walking. They meander, every last one of them. I have no problem with meandering, but when you have 60 million people all doing it, the simple act of walking down the sidewalk can cause a lot of stress for the a non French person.
The scene- two people are walking towards each other on the sidewalk. If these people are not French, they naturally just step aside, usually to their respective rights. But, if one of those people is French, the non French tries to step aside, and the French person will continue walking towards the non French person, until they are just about to pass, and then for no reason at all, the French person will step to his left, putting him directly in front of the non French person, nearly causing a collision. Why does the French person do that? God only knows, but THEY ALL DO IT. They stop in the middle of the crowded sidewalks, stairways, doors, etc. They cut out in front of people without a second thought, only to then stop short. There is no walk in a straight line DUI test here, because drunk or sober, they can’t do it. When you are trying to pass them on the sidewalk, they will not step out of the way. They also walk down the middle of the street, then act annoyed when cars come up behind them, forcing them to return to the sidewalk. Running along the quai on a weekend afternoon is literally a human obstacle course, and I don’t even consider doing it on my bike. It’s as if they are all wearing blindfolds, except of course when they are giving you their judging stares, shortly before stepping in front of you.
And in case anyone is curious as to the main reason I don’t drive here, the term "blindfolded" also can be used when talking about their driving.
