Forget this 2012 nonsense. The Oprah Winfrey Show will end in 2011, thus the world as we know it will also end then. I guess the Mayans didn't see that one coming.
How will I know what books to read? What make up to wear? What beauty product to use? What body shaping underwear will best hold my stomach and butt in place? What Christmas CD to buy? What brand of popcorn sticks the least in my teeth? How often am I supposed to change my toothbrush? My pillowcase? My dish sponge? My shoes? My socks? How do I know what toothbrush to buy? What pillowcase? What dish sponge? What shoes? What socks? What athletic wear is the most comfortable? What wicks the best? Will I still be able to get a discount on the Kindle if I mention Oprah? Which brand of full length mirror makes me look the skinniest? Which digital camera makes my hair look the shiniest? What are Apple Bottom Jeans? Who do I get my over priced bouquet of roses shaped cakes from? Ipod or Zune? Nestle or Pillsbury cookie dough? True Religion? Rock and Republic? Seven For All Mankind? ARIZONA? WHICH JEANS DO I BUY???
Oprah, don't leave. I can't handle the kinds of tough choices that life throws at me. I need you to tell me these things. After 25 years, you can't expect me to think for myself.
5 comments:
we could get the dvd box set, and then you could be set for life. or, well, as long as dvd players are around. :)
Funny, Laura!! Funny,but sad cause it is true for many people!
Mom
Hi Laura,
I have a thought.
Have you thought about being a columnist instead of a teacher?
That's good stuff!
Dad
Don't worry, Laura. There's still The Tyra Show.
Katie
Hilarious!! - Randalle
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