I've been halfheartedly interviewing for teaching jobs in Seoul. As I say in every post, I love that country. I loved living there. I reminded myself of that with every resume I emailed. But I couldn't quite shake the feeling that even though I was going back there with a goal in mind (save money for grad school), I was wasting another year of my life. Not wasting. That's the wrong word. It's not wasting if I'm doing a job I mostly love in a country I love. Frittering away? Squandering? Those are both synonyms of waste. I suck.
Getting a job in Korea is not difficult but does require a bit of perseverance. For many schools, I'm not blond enough and my eyes aren't blue enough. I'm not making that up. Koreans are obsessed with appearance, and in their minds Americans are blond with blue eyes. The school I worked at wasn't that bad, but they did turn down several applicants because they were not white. So despite the fact I have experience, a degree in education, and am a better teacher than 3/4 of the people there, for many schools, I'm not the ideal candidate. And for the record, at one point my school was choosing between two applicants. One was blond. The other was not. Naturally, they chose the blond one. She turned out to be one of the dumbest humans I've ever met. That's both mean of me to say and a fact.
(I'm not saying blonds are dumb. All I'm saying is that in that case, my school chose the less qualified applicant based on her "American" appearance, and they ended up with a teacher who had no idea what to do with a room full of kids, and said things like "Sometimes, I have to remind myself to breathe." And she wasn't saying like "Ok, calm down, just breathe." She was referring to reminding herself to inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.)
I've been sending out resumes and I've interviewed with a few schools. I interviewed with one last week, who told me they'd let me know their decision on Monday. I didn't feel overly positive about the interview, but tried to remind myself it's hard to gauge that over the phone, especially when talking with someone who is not a native English speaker. But I just got the feeling they were looking for someone blond and fresh out of college with a degree in something not related to education. I wasn't too shocked when Korea's Monday came and went, and I didn't hear anything from them. Because of my inability to leave things alone, I emailed them. Fine if they want to hire someone else, but I at least want them to be straight with me. Silence is a coward's way of delivering news, and it drives me crazy. It's depressing to me how many adults are not willing to stand behind their actions, be it professional relationships, personal, etc. You make a choice, own it, even though it sometimes leads to awkwardness. Unfortunately, when dealing with things via email, silence is easy. The school can easily ignore my email. Disrespectful? Yes. Unprofessional? Yes. Can I do anything about it? No.
So I'm supposed to interview with another school tomorrow night. Maybe I still will. I'm not sure. This school refuses to do a phone interview, and only will accept Skype interviews. God forbid I'm ugly. So to do the Skype interview I'd have to go to the library tomorrow night when it's cold and dark, and I'd also have to miss Wheel of Fortune. I just don't know if this is right for me. I question it too much. I don't think this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Following the last interview, when I had a less than positive feeling about it, I told my mom that if I didn't get this job, I'd quit looking in Korea. I'd take that as a sign that it wasn't meant to be.
One reason I'm so hesitant to give up entirely on it is because while my original plans of school online while teaching there fell through, it was at least a plan. I'd be saving money. It was a means to an end. It was a break from restaurant work and subbing. It was a chance to be around some people sort of close to my own age with shared interests. Now, it's back to square one.
I stress ate some rice krispy treats for breakfast. Bad bad bad. I really want to run, but Ginger Zee said the wind is still blowing around 25 mph, with gusts over 30. That's a little much. If I lived in town, and had some protection, it'd be better. But all the empty fields offer little in the way of blocking the wind. Looks like I've got a date with Shaun T today. That's okay. I haven't been doing Insanity like I said I would. I just like running. It's easy. It's a great way to decompress. I can get lost in my thoughts. Maybe in December, January, February, when it's too stinking cold for my delicate self, I'll start Insanity seriously again. Maybe.
Getting a job in Korea is not difficult but does require a bit of perseverance. For many schools, I'm not blond enough and my eyes aren't blue enough. I'm not making that up. Koreans are obsessed with appearance, and in their minds Americans are blond with blue eyes. The school I worked at wasn't that bad, but they did turn down several applicants because they were not white. So despite the fact I have experience, a degree in education, and am a better teacher than 3/4 of the people there, for many schools, I'm not the ideal candidate. And for the record, at one point my school was choosing between two applicants. One was blond. The other was not. Naturally, they chose the blond one. She turned out to be one of the dumbest humans I've ever met. That's both mean of me to say and a fact.
(I'm not saying blonds are dumb. All I'm saying is that in that case, my school chose the less qualified applicant based on her "American" appearance, and they ended up with a teacher who had no idea what to do with a room full of kids, and said things like "Sometimes, I have to remind myself to breathe." And she wasn't saying like "Ok, calm down, just breathe." She was referring to reminding herself to inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.)
I've been sending out resumes and I've interviewed with a few schools. I interviewed with one last week, who told me they'd let me know their decision on Monday. I didn't feel overly positive about the interview, but tried to remind myself it's hard to gauge that over the phone, especially when talking with someone who is not a native English speaker. But I just got the feeling they were looking for someone blond and fresh out of college with a degree in something not related to education. I wasn't too shocked when Korea's Monday came and went, and I didn't hear anything from them. Because of my inability to leave things alone, I emailed them. Fine if they want to hire someone else, but I at least want them to be straight with me. Silence is a coward's way of delivering news, and it drives me crazy. It's depressing to me how many adults are not willing to stand behind their actions, be it professional relationships, personal, etc. You make a choice, own it, even though it sometimes leads to awkwardness. Unfortunately, when dealing with things via email, silence is easy. The school can easily ignore my email. Disrespectful? Yes. Unprofessional? Yes. Can I do anything about it? No.
So I'm supposed to interview with another school tomorrow night. Maybe I still will. I'm not sure. This school refuses to do a phone interview, and only will accept Skype interviews. God forbid I'm ugly. So to do the Skype interview I'd have to go to the library tomorrow night when it's cold and dark, and I'd also have to miss Wheel of Fortune. I just don't know if this is right for me. I question it too much. I don't think this is what I'm supposed to be doing. Following the last interview, when I had a less than positive feeling about it, I told my mom that if I didn't get this job, I'd quit looking in Korea. I'd take that as a sign that it wasn't meant to be.
One reason I'm so hesitant to give up entirely on it is because while my original plans of school online while teaching there fell through, it was at least a plan. I'd be saving money. It was a means to an end. It was a break from restaurant work and subbing. It was a chance to be around some people sort of close to my own age with shared interests. Now, it's back to square one.
I stress ate some rice krispy treats for breakfast. Bad bad bad. I really want to run, but Ginger Zee said the wind is still blowing around 25 mph, with gusts over 30. That's a little much. If I lived in town, and had some protection, it'd be better. But all the empty fields offer little in the way of blocking the wind. Looks like I've got a date with Shaun T today. That's okay. I haven't been doing Insanity like I said I would. I just like running. It's easy. It's a great way to decompress. I can get lost in my thoughts. Maybe in December, January, February, when it's too stinking cold for my delicate self, I'll start Insanity seriously again. Maybe.
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