OFII could at least buy me dinner first

PREFACE
I need to again stress that I love France. I complain about it, but it is really all out of love. I am already dreading my May departure. This country is frustrating, and illogical, and a disorganized mess of paperwork and citizens who are seemingly void of any emotion (unless you consider indifference to be an emotion). But those are all things that make France, well France. Those are all things that make it interesting.

YESTERDAY
So yesterday, a short 4 months after arriving here, I finally had my medical appointment. The medical appointment is the last step needed for making my visa official. Basically it is a superficial physical. I learned last year that they schedule usually around 10 people for each time slot. They have one person doing x-rays, one person doing height, weight, and vision check, one doctor doing exams, and one person issuing the visas. Combine that with the many compulsory cigarette and coffee breaks taken by French people, and it makes for a very slow process. I thought that by getting to the office a bit early, I could maybe be one of the first, and not have to spend all afternoon at this appointment. I arrived 20 minutes early, and was the first one there. By the time the office opened up at 1:30, there were several more people waiting outside. The French word for line is bum rush. So when the doors opened, despite me being the first one there, I ended up with 4 or so people ahead of me. No biggie, I was still thinking things were looking good. When it was my turn to check in, I handed the woman at the reception desk my appointment letter and my passport. She looked for my name on her list, and said "Oh, we had you marked as being absent today."
Ummm...clearly I wasn't absent, so I just responded "oh, strange." The receptionist said she would fill out a form for me to have my appointment, but couldn't find them, so she yelled at a woman sitting in an office behind the reception desk. The woman told her where the correct forms were, and the receptionist started to fill it out. She had it about half done when she pulled out my application that I mailed in 4 months ago. There was a note written on it, that I never did get to see. But the receptionist looked at it, and said, "oh, there is a problem." Great. She then pulled out my work contract, and said "your contract expired in April of 2009." I looked at the contract and sure enough, it was last year's contract.
Me: That was from last year. I have a new contract this year.
Receptionist: You don't work at Jean Zay in Cenon anymore.
Me: No. I work at a primary school in Villenave d'Ornon.
Receptionist: Where is that contract?
Me: I mailed it in with the rest of my papers in October.
Receptionist: Do you have it with you?
Me: No, I mailed it in to you in October.
Receptionist: It is not possible for you to have a medical appointment without your contract.
So then she called again for the woman in the office. The woman in the office came out, and looked at my papers, and said again, oh, strange, it's not possible. How did this happen. Blah blah blah. So then she made me come into her office, while she looked through all of the papers I had mailed in. She handed me the contract from Jean Zay and asked me if the handwriting on the paper was mine. French people have very distinct hand writing, and this writing was clearly not mine. She looked through the papers, saying my contract had expired, it was not possible for me to have my medical appointment, etc. So then she was like, my supervisor comes in at 2. I'll call him then. So I sat and waited until 2. The next 45 minutes or so consisted of her making a few phone calls, coming out to the waiting room, asking me how this happened, gossiping with her co-workers, and saying "it's not possible."
Finally, a little before 3, she came back out, and said those magical words that I'd been waiting for "OK, you can go have your medical appointment now" I don't know what happened, but I didn't question it.
By this time, the people who had 3:00 appointments were starting to come in. Surprisingly though, I was actually able to get in and have my chest x-ray and my height/weight/vision checks fairly quickly.
X-Ray.
x-ray tech: take of ALL your clothes from the waist up. Are you pregnant?
Me: No.
X-R T: Ok, take of all your clothes from the waist up then come into this room.
Height/weight/vision.
More of the same.
HWV checker: Time for an eye exam. Do you where contacts or glasses?
Me: I have glasses, but I forgot to bring them.
HWV: Read this line.
Me (can't see it at all so I started saying random letters): E G I T, etc.
Exam finishes.
HWV: You have a problem with your eyes.
Me: I wear glasses, I just forgot to bring them.
HWV:You should go see an eye doctor.
Me: I see fine with my glasses.
HWV: You have a problem with your left eye.
Me, realizing she was clearly not paying attention to anything I was saying: Really? OK.

Then I had go see the doctor. I again had to remove my upper body clothing, and lay on the table while he pushed and prodded, listened to my breathing, looked at my teeth, took my blood pressure, etc. He was actually really nice and told me I was in perfect health.
Then, all I had to do was so wait for them to actually give me my new visa. OF COURSE, the person right in front of me had problems with something or other, so I had to wait about another 30-45 minutes to get my visa. By the time I finally left, I had been in the office over 3 hours, and if we count the time I spent waiting outside before the office opened, I was there almost 4 hours.
Bienvenue à la France!
But, I am now legal, courtesy of a very unofficial looking piece of yellow paper taped to my passport.